Read Nan's Journey for Free Online Page A

food came from , and she didn’t see that God did much to get it to their table, but if Fred wanted to say a prayer, it was fine with her. She and Elmer cleaned up the dishes after supper and Fred began to read to them from his wife’s Holy Bible. Some of the words were vaguely familiar to Nan, but it had been years since she had heard them from her mother’s lips. She and Elmer had cried when they heard Fred read about Adam and Eve having to leave the Garden of Eden. Nan thought about how awful it would be to leave this beautiful Colorado wilderness. Fred had to explain to them that even though Adam and Eve left the garden, God still loved them and was taking care of them.
    Tonight they would be reading about Joseph. He seemed a lot like Elmer to Nan. They hurried so that the reading could begin. Before they started though, this time, Fred had them sit at the table. He gave them a broken piece of flat stone called slate and a crumbly white rock. He showed Elmer how to write his name on the slate. He loved knowing what his name looked like. He tried several times and Fred told him it wouldn’t take many times of practice before he would learn it.
    Then the reading began. Fred told them that the Bible was written thousands of years ago. Nan just couldn’t believe that something so old could be so interesting.
    After the reading came the memory wor k. Fred was teaching them the twenty third Psalms and the Lord’s Prayer ; t he words were beautiful and powerful. Nan didn’t understand the meaning of some of the words , and she knew that Elmer didn’t either , but it made her happy to think of herself as a fluffy white lamb and God taking care of her. One day Nan asked Fred, “What does hallowed mean?”
    “Holy I think. ”
    “Oh” Nan frowned, “What exactly is holy?”
    “Without sin.”
    “What are trespasses?”
    “Sins.”
    “Oh. I don’t think I have tres — sinned against anyone, but they sure have sinned against me!”
    Fred’s eyes looked amused, “Is that right?”
    “I don’t want to forgive my stepma for everything she did to us.”
    Fred looked concerned. “Well, Nan, the want to has to come from God. Remember , Joseph forgave his brothers for selling him to the slave traders in our last Bible reading. God had to help him do that.”
    “I never cared for my stepmother and I never want to see her again , and I enjoy hating her!”
    “Nan, hate is a disease that will destroy you. When you forgive those who sin against you, God will help you from fall ing into temptation and deliver you from evil. It is God’s power that does this.”
    “I’m not ready to let go of the hate!” Nan was crying hard and clenching her fists. “I guess God can’t love me if I want to hate people!”
    “That’s not true, Nan. The Bible says , ‘Yea, I have loved you with an everlasting love that while you were yet sinners, Christ died for you. ’ ”
    “I will have to think on that a while. I don’t know what I want to do. Maybe I better not say The Lord’s Prayer until I figure it all out. I am not a liar.” With that said, she went to the trundle bed and lay beside Elmer who was sleeping peacefully.
    Fred watched her as he pretended to read. Nan was usually so sweet and gentle. He had rarely seen this hate filled side of her. Her anger had been strong, real and justified, but it was not good for her.
    He knew what she was going through because he had been angry with God about Claire and Joy’s deaths.  There were still times when he wanted to scream out his “whys?” to God. These children had unknowingly shown him that life must go on even when terrible things have happened.
    He would never be able to explain to them how a loving God could let their Mama and Papa die leaving them with the cruel caretakers , or why the girl he loved since childhood and the ir playful little dau ghter, Joy, had been snatched away by the stealthy blow of influenza. Were there answers? Had he forgiven and was he