this.”
Erin almost laughed.
Ironically, of course. “Yeah, well, you missed all of my weeping and wailing
and bemoaning my fate and angsting about my choices. I’ve had some time to get
used to it.”
His eyelashes
flickered slightly. “Almost seven weeks.”
She couldn’t
tell if there was a reproach in those words or not. “I considered not telling
you at all. I have no desire to deal with any unnecessary complications.”
He closed his
eyes, as if he were suddenly tired. “And what exactly do you expect from me in
all this?”
“Nothing,” she
said immediately, glad she had such a good opportunity to speak her piece. “This
isn’t going to be a Thomas baby. It’s going to be a Marshall baby.” She held
his eyes, didn’t let hers drop.
“So I’m effectively
closed out?”
“Not closed
out. I just don’t want there to be any confusion about this. I’m the one
who’s going to make decisions regarding this baby’s life and future. You’re
welcome to be involved, though—as little or as much as you’d like. As long as
you don’t try to take control.”
“ Monetarily involved?” His voice was almost bitter.
Erin
straightened her spine with a jerk when she realized what he implied. “Fuck
you, Seth. I’m not asking for money, and I wouldn’t take any from you if you
offered it. How dare you insult me like that?”
He didn’t look
contrite. Merely skeptical. But apparently her outrage had some kind of effect,
because he finally said, “Right. I can see why that would have offended you.”
“I’m glad you
can see that. The truth is, if I’d had a choice, I would have gotten pregnant
by someone other than you.”
Seth blinked
again.
Suddenly, Erin
realized that her words had sounded crueler than she’d intended. “I don’t mean
that personally. I had a good time with you. But the fact that you’re...well, you complicates things considerably.”
He released a
long breath. “Okay. If we can keep this uncomplicated, I’d like that too. You
don’t want me to be involved monetarily, but I’m allowed to be involved in
other ways?”
She made a
face. Had no idea how he would feel about any of this, and she wasn’t getting
any clues from his behavior now. “Only if you want to be. Naturally, you can
know the...the...your child and spend time with him...or her.”
“And, later on,
would I be allowed to spend money to provide certain things? Like education,
for instance?”
Erin squirmed
in her chair. Felt both hesitant and a little bit sick. She hated the idea of
being dependent on Seth in any way.
Money had been
the primary way Marcus had gotten her to go along with his agenda in the two
years they’d been married. He made the money, so he made the decisions.
That was why
she’d refused to take any money from him after the marriage ended, even though
everyone told her she was stupid not to. She wasn’t going to give her ex-husband
any more power over her.
“I guess so. I
mean, it would depend on what it was. But, yeah, some things like that would
probably be all right. But this isn’t going to be a Thomas baby.”
“Yes. I
understood that when you said it before.”
She wondered if
she’d insulted him. She didn’t want to, but it was so important that she set
necessary parameters. She knew too well the consequences of just going with the
flow and giving a strong man too much control over her life. She wasn’t going
to do that with her child.
Seth just sat
in his chair, looking at her.
Finally Erin
became a little uncomfortable. “You don’t have to decide now about how much
involvement you want. I’m not asking for anything. You don’t have to be
involved at all. I’ll even sign something saying that I’ll never come and ask
you for anything. Or, you can just keep track of things from the sidelines.” This
was the idea that appealed to her the most, so she tried to make it sound
attractive. “I could keep you informed, by email or whatever, about