Read MWF Seeking BFF for Free Online Page A

action.
    There are steps I should take to nurture this budding relationship. According to psychologists Debra Oswald and Eddie Clark’s research, there are four necessary behaviors to make a friendship stick. Self-disclosure, supportiveness, interaction, and positivity. I’ve got the first two down. Interaction is prettyself-explanatory. Call, email, and accept invitations to dinner instead of declining so I can watch
Modern Family.
As for positivity, no one’s going to want to be my best friend if I spend all our time together complaining about having no friends.
    These four steps are important. They’re not all that different from what I found on wikiHow—tell secrets, invite her over—but they have the weight of actual research behind them. They are proven friendship guidelines—no matter your age—and will be integral for both building new friendships and maintaining old ones. Now I just need to translate science into action.

    I’m meeting University of Chicago professor and psychologist John Cacioppo this morning to discuss my predicament. Now that I’ve started to pinpoint, scientifically, what a best friend is and why I need one, I’d like an expert’s take on just how I should go about finding her. Cacioppo is the coauthor of
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection.
Since he’s an authority on people
not
having friends, he probably has some insight into how to reverse the problem.
    Scheduling an appointment with a college professor to ask for help making friends does feel a bit, well, sad. And formal. It’s not like higher educators have a reputation as the most social beings. As I wander the halls searching for Cacioppo’s office, I’m feeling self-conscious. Like my bestfriendlessness is showing on my face, seeping through my pores. I try to adopt the strut of someone with too many friends to count. Confident, head held high, a knowing grin on my face as if I’m remembering an inside joke with my closest pal.
    I’m not sure why I’m putting on this show. The building isempty save for one janitor, and I can’t imagine he cares about my social life.
    I arrive at Cacioppo’s office at 7 A.M. I’m not usually fit for conversation this early in the morning, but Cacioppo wears a warm smile under his thick mustache that perks me right up. I wonder if studying connectedness all his life has made him especially attuned to friend-seekers like me. His voice is gruff but quiet and, as I jabber on, he’s got that encouraging psychologist’s nod that makes me feel like I could talk forever. I give him my entire I-need-a-local-BFF spiel.
    But suddenly I’m wondering if I really do
need
a local one. I want one, obviously. My lack of nearby buddies has affected me enough to spur this quest. But the research I’ve read seems to indicate that long-distance pals do the trick. The physical and mental health benefits of friendship exist regardless of whether your friend is next door or across the country.
    “Full-threaded contact is important,” Cacioppo tells me. “This is why social networking sites can exacerbate loneliness. People use them as a substitute for interaction. The person who hides behind four thousand Facebook friends probably feels very isolated.”
    Cacioppo says that when it comes to technology, Skype is better than the phone, and the phone is better than texting. “There’s a lot that goes into personal interaction. You have a much richer understanding of someone when you are physically present with her than if you are talking over the phone or email.”
    “So how do I find someone to be physically present
with
?” I feel like an overeager golden retriever, panting at the feet of my master until he’s ready to throw me a bone. Cacioppo seems to hold the answers to all my life’s problems.
    “Well, you’re already doing the first thing right. You’regoing out and looking. But selection is critical. You need to find people with similar values, attitudes, and