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he’s always warning his kids about everything.
    â€œWe drive in miles per hour, not kilometres.”
    â€œYes sir,” says Jude with not so much as a squeak of sarcasm.
    The guard squints at Jude. “All right,” he says sternly, and waves them on.
    At the beach, Jude reaches into the back of the truck for a couple of blankets and two bottles of fancy juice in pretty, long-necked bottles that Abi has noticed at the store. “Can’t be caught with anything else down here,” he says. “Friend of mine was – Big Trouble he’s in now.”
    How old is Jude anyhow?
    He takes her hand as they walk down the beach. His is a big hand. Or perhaps hers is small. She never thinks about her hand in relation to anyone else’s. It feels good.
In relation.
She can’t remember when someone last touched her in any way, except maybe by accident in the school caf lineup. Or someone brushing by on the bus. She giggles and Jude squeezes her hand ever so slightly. She’s afraid to look at himso she looks over the beach to where there’s a group of children, voices loud in the summer evening. You can tell they’re so happy to be up this late. But Jude pulls her in the other direction, toward a giant log lying on its side, to where the noise of the children seems far away.
    He spreads one of the blankets on the sand, pulling the corners out just so, and readies the other blanket over the log. “Sit,” he says, and they do, shoulder to shoulder. He reaches around and draws the blanket on the log down around them, and she’s glad for the warmth. She hadn’t realized how chilly the air had grown.
    People are now spreading over the beach, people of all shapes, sizes, and ages. The sun is setting, warmth beginning to rise from the sand. Abi takes her sandals off and burrows her feet into the toasty grains. Jude looks at her, amused. “Just don’t get sand on the blanket,” he warns with a grin.
    Out on the water, boats bob, their lights flickering, and between them and the boats are so many heads in silhouette.
    BOOM ! The first of the fireworks makes Abi jump. “Oh!” She’s not even aware she’s said anything until she sees a face, turned around and looking back at her.
Rhodesy!
    â€œAba!” she says, and for just a second something passes over her face – not a look of anger; more of sadness, a grey sadness that causes her face to close down momentarily. Then her face opens again in a big smile. “I’m glad you won’t miss them,” she says, and motions to the sky.
    Abi is glad for her pointing finger, and she looks quickly away to the green and pink against the dark.
    â€œWow!” breathes Jude.
    â€œDyl,” Abi dares to say the name aloud, “would love this, wouldn’t he?”
Wish I couldn’t feel Rhodes right in front of me. Wish I didn’t feel as if I’ve betrayed a friend. I hardly know her, really.
    Jude doesn’t take his eyes from the exploding colour. “I suppose he would,” he says, nothing more.
    BOOM ! BOOM ! BOOM ! Will it ever stop? Abi is shivering now, and wonders how long it will go on. Ten minutes? Twenty minutes? Maybe someone will just drop a match and blow it all up at once and get it over with.
Please…
If only she didn’t feel as if she’d made a promise, then broken it. She didn’t promise Rhodesy anything. She just said “no” to her invitation. That’s not the same, is it?
    Beside her, she can feel Jude closer, can feel his weight. There’s a warmth on her neck and she turns at the suddenness of it, and they’re connected. Just like that.
    Abi’s not prepared for it. She always thought her first real kiss would be something she could recognize at the time. But before she can tell herself what’s happening, it’s over.
    â€œWhat do you think?” he asks, his voice husky.
    I don’t want to