with a struggle, âYou think not.â
âI can hardly think otherwise,â she answered. âHeaven knows! How can I believe that you would choose me when I can see that there is one who you weigh every female against? Choose her; do not know the repentance and regret I did. Whatever happens, I am hopeful that we will remain friends.â
She lifted her wine glass and toasted, âMay you be happy with the one you love!â
Darcy remembered that he felt some inner turmoil, for he had not yet been ready to acknowledge the truth of her statements. But almost as if it acted of its own accord, Darcyâs hand lifted the wine glass in an answering salute.
He turned upon the Ghost and saw that it looked upon him with a questioning face.
âInteresting, is it not, that some can see so clearly, while others blind themselves to truth?â asked the Spirit. Darcy looked at himself calming sipping wine. A year ago he would have smugly thought that the woman he wanted to marry would return his sentiments. He had been in dire need of the comeuppance Elizabeth had delivered.
As if the Spirit read his thoughts, he was in the drawing room at the Hunsford parsonage.
âSpirit!â said Darcy. âPlease, show me no more! Conduct me home. Do you delight in torturing me?â
âOnly one shadow more!â exclaimed the Ghost.
âNo more!â cried Darcy. âNo more. I do not wish to see it. Show me no more!â
But his words were in vain, for he could hear himself exclaim, âIn vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.â
Darcy listened as he made avowals of all that he still and had long felt for Elizabeth. He could hear how he spoke on the subject of his sense of her inferiorityâof its being a degradationâof the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclinationâall were dwelt on.
Darcy heard himself conclude by representing to her the strength of his attachment, which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer, and expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, Darcy cringed beside the Spirit, for he could easily see that he had no doubt of a favorable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate Elizabeth, he now knew. Yet it was like being cut by a knife to hear rejection again.
âSpirit,â said Darcy in a broken voice, âremove me from this place. There was no need to bring me here, madam, for not a word, not a syllable have I forgotten. Do you wish to hear for yourself?â Darcy began to recite along with Elizabeth each and every word of her rejection. Not one word was spoken out of place.
âYou could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it. From the very beginning, from the first moment I may almost say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form that ground-work of disapprobation, on which succeeding events have built so immoveable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.â
As the last word fell, Darcy turned on the Spirit with such a mixture of anger, bitterness, and despair, that she took a step away from him. âI told you these were shadows of the things that have been,â said the Ghost.âThat they are what they are, do not blame me!â
âYou have said quite enough, madam.â It was as if Darcy was speaking to both Elizabeth and the Spirit. âI perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been.
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