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is how anyone could be
so cowardly as to hit someone in the dark and then just drive away
and leave her to die,” Nancy said in disgust. “I hope the police
find who did it and put him away for life.”
    At that moment, my cell phone rang. It was
Jenny. She didn’t waste time with pleasantries.
    “Dad’s had a heart attack. You’ve got to get
to the hospital right away.”



Chapter 7
     
    There’s so little difference between
husbands that you
    might as well keep your first one. Just look
at all the time
    you’ve spent breaking him in. Do you really
want to
    go through that again?
     
    Thank God I was with Mary Alice and Nancy
when I got Jenny’s call. I was so upset I know I would’ve had an
accident driving to the hospital myself.
    By the time we got there, breaking
who-knows-how-many traffic laws, I was relieved to see Jim was
already sitting in the out-patient area, ready to be released.
Typical man, he assumed an ornery persona when he saw that Nancy
and Mary Alice were with me. I think he was embarrassed at causing
all this excitement.
    “God, Carol, you didn’t have to bring
reinforcements with you. I’m not dying.”
    I started to blubber and Jim stood up – a
little unsteadily, I thought – and gave me a hug. “I’m really all
right. It was just a scare. A mild angina attack, the doctor said.
He’s referred me to a cardiologist, as a precaution. And then he
released me.” Jim fished in his jacket pocket and held up a card.
“See? I’ll call and make an appointment right away when we get
home. Promise.”
    “But, Jim, why did this happen? What were
you doing?”
    I knew My Beloved was hardly a couch potato,
but he wasn’t an exercise nut either, like some men I know.
    “All I was doing was clearing more of the
ice off the front sidewalk,” he said defensively. “You know how
worried you always are that someone’s going to fall and sue
us.”
    Humph. Seemed to me that he was the one who
worried about getting sued. Not a good time to argue about that
point, however.
    “Sorry I gave you such a scare,” he said.
“Fortunately, Jenny was home and she called nine-one-one and here I
am.” At my questioning look, Jim continued, “she stayed with me
until the doctor saw me, but then she had to leave to go teach a
class.”
    “As long as you’re all right, Jim, Mary
Alice and I’ll get out of here,” said Nancy, who had remained
uncharacteristically quiet.
    “Wait a minute, Nancy,” said Mary Alice. “We
have to give them a lift home. I’m sure they don’t want to travel
in an ambulance. You can pick up your own car later, Carol. It’s
safe in the Paperback Café parking lot.”
    “I’m just glad to be going home,” Jim said.
“I was afraid the doctors were going to keep me overnight for
observation.”
    “Are you sure it’s safe for you to leave the
hospital, Jim?” I couldn’t help it. I was scared, and if I sounded
overprotective, I didn’t care.
    “I’m fine, Carol,” Jim snapped back. “For
God’s sake, don’t make this into a crisis.”
    I couldn’t help myself. This was first sign
that one of us was showing signs of our mortality. I know we all
have an expiration date. I just didn’t want Jim’s to come too
soon.

     
    For the next few days, I hovered over My
Beloved like a hawk stalking its prey. I drove him so crazy that he
even started going to the newspaper office even when he didn’t need
to, just to get away from me.
    I also spent a lot of time wrestling with my
conscience. What right did I have to insist on staying in our house
if Jim’s health was at stake?
    I forced myself to take another look at my
home-maintenance jobs list, and realized that Jim’s were all
labor-intensive, requiring physical energy that could seriously
damage his heart. Of course, in my own melodramatic way, I could
easily imagine My Beloved keeling over, clutching his chest, just
from taking out a bag of garbage, and saying with his last breath,
“Honey, I’m sorry. I was