After bolting to his feet, he dashed up the stairs and slammed into the door with his shoulder over and over again, leaving dents in the steel, but failing to budge the latch. Finally, he slumped down onto the top step in defeat. “You’re going to have to lock me in the walk-in.”
Fee rolled her eyes. “Not a chance.”
“Fianna, this is your last warning. It’s a full moon, you’re in heat, and my control is slipping. If you don’t stop me somehow, you could be pregnant before morning.”
She tipped her head as if she were measuring her thoughts carefully. “And that would make you angry? You do not wish to be a father?” She edged toward the bottom step and lifted her face.
Of course he did. It was a desire that was hard-wired into him, part of the evolutionary job description for the alpha male of a pack, even such a small one. And he knew, abstractly, that one of these days, he was going to have to honor his responsibilities and take a mate. But not like this. “This is not a decision I want to make with my hormones, or with yours. Besides, when I do have children, I’d like to be married to their mother.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “Oh. I hadn’t thought of marriage.”
He barked a laugh. “No kidding. You haven’t thought, period. There’s a lot more to having kids than the process of making them. I can’t exactly see you changing diapers, driving carpool or cheering at soccer games.”
“I suppose not.” She moved back and slumped down onto a keg, her expression strained, even hurt, which was very bad for his resistance. He needed her to remain cool and distant. “In this world I wouldn’t have servants for such things, but I’ve noticed so much more closeness between parent and child here. It’s enviable. Besides, I could learn, couldn’t I? To drive, and…everything. I’m certain I could love a child. Or am I too self-absorbed even for that?”
He couldn’t bear the self-recrimination in her tone. Walking slowly down the stairs he shook his head. “Taking a bullet meant for Dina pretty much proved you’re not. I have no doubt of your ability to love, especially a child.” He’d never forget the sight of her lying on the floor, nearly dying from a gunshot meant to kill Aidan’s daughter. If Elise hadn’t been such a powerful healer, Fee wouldn’t have survived. The bitch who’d shot her had been lucky it was Lana who’d slit her throat. Greg wouldn’t have killed her nearly as quickly or cleanly.
When he reached Fee, he cupped her chin in his hand. “I’m sorry for implying otherwise. I don’t think either of us is ready for that step yet.” Not to mention that wolves mated for life, and he wasn’t sure Fee would understand that.
His body, though, had other ideas. Before he even noticed it, he’d sat down beside her and his wandering hands were up under her shirt again, finding all the soft curves and warm hollows. Judging by the way she melted against him, she enjoyed what he was doing as much as he liked doing it. He buried his face in the curve of her neck and inhaled her scent, before he caught himself and wrenched himself away, back to the other side of the space.
“So why can’t we have sex? I know there are ways to prevent conception. Even the Fae have condoms now.”
Greg winced and scrubbed at his face with his hands. “One thing we don’t have down here is any sort of birth control, so giving in to our instincts would be a really bad idea.” Why the hell hadn’t Lana or Meagan talked her into getting pills or something? For that matter, why didn’t he have condoms in his pocket or stashed in the restroom? Idiot.
“I understand.” She moved over to stand in front of him. “I’m not very experienced at this sort of thing, but aren’t there…other ways we can give each other relief, without risking a child?”
The vision that popped into his head of her kneeling between his legs almost did the job for him. His dick pulsed, abrading