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says, “Good-night.”
    The calm of the room surrounds us, and I hear his breathing steady with sleep.
    Happy he’s here, I w ant to confess more than just shallow mentions about his looks, so quieter than a whisper, I say, “I counted the seconds we were apart.” Smiling in the dark, knowing that he’d call me obsessed if he’d heard, I kiss him on the cheek. “Sweet dreams, Nick.”
    When did sleep become so amazing ? I feel terrific and rested. I feel warm and wonderful. Lifting my head up, I suddenly become very aware that I’m in bed with someone. My body tenses until I see Nick next to me, looking peaceful. I relax and adm i re him for a few seconds before I pull my hand away from its cozy spot between his thighs and hope he doesn’t notice.
    “Be careful down there. You trying to ruin me for other women?”
    His eyes are still closed, but his smirk is solidly in place.
    “I didn’t mean to touch, well, touch you like that. I’m sorry,” I say, stumbling over my words.
    “I’m not.” He opens his eyes. “No harm done.” He lifts the sheet up. “Look.”
    It’s like a dare. I can’t stop myself from peeking, but I get offended when I do. “Wow, so you find me so utterly unattractive that I can’t even give you morning wood? Don’t you get those from dreams? I’m real, and I can’t turn you on? Now you’ve destroyed the last shreds of self-esteem I held onto after Alejandro. Thanks.”
    I start to get out of bed, feeling a full on pout coming, but he grabs my arm. “Let me just say that I’ve spent the last thirty minutes willing away all of my embarrassing reactions to being in bed with you. You don’t even want to know the horrid and ludicrous thoughts it took to not scare you with all my morning glory. And Hayley, don’t ever compare me to your ex.”
    His tone is straight, not teasing any more, and it makes me look at his face. He’s serious, so I say, “I wasn’t. I didn’t mean to insinuate—”
    “He hurt you. I won’t ever hurt you.”
    “You won’t. I know you won’t. I trust you.”
    He pulls me back to him and holds me. My ear is pressed against his chest as I listen to every strong heartbeat and repeat, “I trust you.” I do too, so much.
    We leave it there. The whispered words are the glue holding us together.
    Nick takes off after breakfast and h is absence is felt immediately. The day is long and quiet with him gone. The night is starting to take over as my thoughts turn to Alejandro.
    He’s my past. That much is apparent to me now. He was never meant to be my future. He hurt my pride on New Year’s, but we wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. Maybe that’s what makes this easier to deal with. Someone who truly loved me wouldn’t have cheated on me . Love shouldn’t weigh us down , it should lift us up.
    Nick lifts me up.
    Alejandro and I never made a good couple. We fought all the time, and I got complacent. We broke up once before, but this time, it’s different. This time I don’t care because I’m willing to acknowledge the truth now. I’ve loved Nick all along, but suppressed those feelings because we were never available at the same time. We are now for the first time since college, but should we risk our friendship?
    I curl up in bed and flick on the television , but I don’t make it to the first commercial break before I think of Nick again and wonder if he’s with Jennifer tonight. The thought upsets me and the phone is ringing before I decide it’s probably best if I don’t bother him. I hang up quickly. Right when I set the phone down, it rings in my hand.
    Nick.
    “Hey,” I answer, trying for nonchalance.
    “Hi, you called?”
    “Oh, it’s nothing. Sorry for bothering you.”
    I’m about to say good-bye when he says, “No bother. What’s up?”
    I don’t know what I should say here. I miss you and want to know if you’re missing me? Are you with Jennifer? Are you alone?  “I was just thinking about you.” I take a deep