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again.”
    “What?” the Director gasped, and Charlie almost, almost, felt a little sorry for him. “How many times have you let that…creature…have her way with me?”
    The Headmaster glanced off in thought. “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track…”
    “Seven,” Rex drawled. “‘Least, that’s how many times I remember.”
    “Seven,” the Headmaster agreed with a firm nod. “That sounds right.”
    “You’ve done this to me seven times?”
    “Yes, and it is just as distasteful for us as I’m sure it is for you. Unfortunately, your rage toward Charlie Benjamin has made it necessary. Clearly, this is an issue we will have to resolve, but now is not the time—we have far more pressing matters to attend to. There is something potentially catastrophic happening in the Nether. The Guardian—”
    “I don’t care about the Guardian!” Director Drake snapped. “I care about seeing all of you suffer the punishment you most certainly deserve!”
    And, without another word, he reached under his desk and pressed a button. Red lights started flashing throughout the Nightmare Division as sirens wailed.
    “He hit the alarm!” Violet yelled. “We’re gonna get caught!”
    “Oh, I hope so,” Director Drake replied. “But don’t worry, little girl—I’ll do you the favor of sending you to the Reduction room last.”
    “Lemme at him!” Theodore yelled, rushing toward the man, but Charlie held him back.
    “Settle down, sprout,” Rex said, unlooping his lasso from his belt. “Nothing’s gonna happen to us, trust me.” He turned to Tabitha. “Make a portal, would ya, darlin’?”
    “Where to?”
    “Why, the Hags, of course.”
    Director Drake stumbled backward, steadying himself on the edge of his desk. “No…this is treason.”
    “He says that every time, don’t he?” Rex said with a chuckle. Then, with one quick snap of his wrist, the lasso sailed across the Director’s study and pulled tight around the man’s chest, pinning his arms to his sides.
    “Let’s go, pardner. You got a date with a beautiful lady.”

    The Queen of the Hags was gnawing off her toenails with her teeth when the group portaled into the grand ballroom of her crumbling manor in the Nether. She glanced up at them from her stained throne but kept chewing away at a particularly thick, stubborn nail as if the arrival of the humans was not much of a surprise. Several Hags in dirty ball gowns stood in attendance, brushing her matted hair with fine, silver combs.
    “Wow,” Theodore said, looking around in dismay. “This place is gross!”
    “No kidding,” Violet agreed.
    “We’re back,” Rex said, yanking the Director forward with his lasso.
    The Hag Queen finally bit off the particularly troublesome toenail and spat it across the ballroom with surprising force. The hard, yellow crescent stuck into the finely carved wooden mantel above the giant fireplace like a dart.
    “Indeed you are,” she said, licking her black lips. “And I see you’ve brought the Director again.”
    “We have,” the Headmaster said, walking toward the monstrous parody of a woman. “I hope you’re hungry.”
    “Always,” the Hag Queen replied, then yelped in pain. “You hit a tangle!” She turned to the Hag at her left, and, with one swipe of her taloned claw, sliced the creature’s head cleanly from its body. Black ichor fountained up as the dead Hag collapsed to the floor, dropping its silver comb with a clatter.
    “Really,” the Hag Queen said with a disgusted sigh as she rose into the air on her leathery wings, stirring up so much dust that the ballroom looked like a Texas prairie. “A good lady-in-hating is impossible to find. You beg them to be gentle, but they always disappoint. I’m a delicate flower, you know.”
    “And a beautiful one,” Rex chimed in, giving her his best smile.
    “Oh, you,” the beast replied with a girlish giggle. The sound made Charlie’s stomach heave. “Always a charmer.”
    “I just