whenever I want to.”
“What the fuck ever.” He grabbed some napkins and wiped off his face. “Next fuckin’ time you talk to her, I’m fuckin’ talkin’ to her, too. Better fuckin’ yet, I’m gonna get her number off your fuckin’ phone and have a long fuckin’ conversation with that bitch.”
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “No, please. She’s hurting, Christopher. Johnnie needs to talk to her about a wedding date.”
“I don’t give a motherfuck if Johnnie gotta talk to her ‘bout the Second Comin’. That bitch ain’t fuckin’ with you.”
“You can’t order people to like me and respect me. They have to do it because they want to.”
“Yeah the fuck I can. At least where fuckin’ respect concerned. As for likin’ you, you right. I can’t order a motherfucker alive to fuckin’ like you if they fuckin’ don’t. That shit up to them.”
Meggie shrugged, sorry she’d suggested they come here. She was making matters worse, arguing like a child. “Who am I?” she blurted, needing to know his perception of her.
“My fuckin’ wife,” he snarled. “You the girl who like to fuckin’ dance and laugh. You like fuckin’ jokes and you like to cook. You like to fuckin’ shop and go to the movies. You like fuckin’ children and love the fuck outta my boy. You the best aunt Ryan could fuckin’ ask for. You like to fuckin’ read fuckin’ novels.” His voice dropped. “You like dick.”
“Yours.”
Christopher snickered. “Wicked little bitch.” He stared at her. “It was her, huh?”
Swallowing, Meggie’s heart beat hard and fast at how well he knew her. They were best friends. They knew just what the other needed. Most of the time. So what was wrong with her? She was just a wreck. For the past week, she’d stayed away from Patrick’s grave, determined to move forward. But she just hurt more. Not looking at his two photos—the ultrasound one and the one after he’d been stillborn—gutted her more.
She needed to bridge the past with her present to have a future.
Meggie looked away. “You’ve got to back off Kendall. If not for her and Johnnie, then for me.”
“Listen to me, baby. I already fuckin’ know the answer. We gotta lot of shit between us and I’m all kindsa fucked up. Ain’t never made a secret of that shit. But you ain’t been yourself for fuckin’ months now, so you ain’t standin’ up to her right. That’s where the fuck I step the fuck in and handle it.”
“No. When you handled it before, you just made it worse. Then Johnnie got in it to defend her . Kendall means well—“
“Tell me the bullshit she fuckin’ said.”
For whatever reason, Meggie felt compelled to protect Kendall from Christopher’s wrath. Maybe, she and Kendall really didn’t like each other. Maybe, they were just connected to each other because of Spoon and the horrors he’d put them through. Right then, Meggie wasn’t sure. She just felt sick to her stomach, overheated, and overloaded with feelings.
Mortician had suggested Meggie not mention having another baby to Christopher, so Meggie hadn’t brought it up. She hadn’t mentioned Patrick, either. Or visited his grave or looked at his ultrasound photo. Or the other one. The one where he looked as if he was sleeping and she could wake him up and cradle him, coo to him. Laugh with him.
The one where his life was an illusion.
Because he wasn’t sleeping. He was dead.
“Fuck. Don’t you dare start fuckin’ cryin’.”
Blinking fast and furious, Meggie smiled. “I’m fine.”
“Megan, however you gotta be, I’ll fuckin’ take you as long as you take me. You gotta be educated, I’ll take you. You gotta be at a fancy job, fuckin’ fine. You just gotta be my wife who pussify the fuck outta me, you still have me. But what I ain’t doin’ is watchin’ you suffer cuz of a stupid bitch. I ain’t riskin’ your life puttin’ another baby in you. I ain’t riskin’ us by fuckin’ over you. That
Joni Rodgers, Kristin Chenoweth