Mind Gym

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Book: Read Mind Gym for Free Online
Authors: Sebastian Bailey
and put the responsibility for negative events on external factors. (Pessimists, of course, were believed to do the opposite.) In the previous example of Mike and Ashley, Mike takes credit for the barbecue and blames the summer parties for his tummy. A danger does exist that if someone gets carried away with their optimism, they might end up ducking responsibility: they might ignore a problem until it grows out of proportion or they rely too much on wishful thinking as a route to achieve their aims.
    An attentive optimist is the kind of person who treads a careful path between taking too much responsibility and taking far too little. After an event that results in a positive outcome, an attentive optimist will take some credit but only what that person feels is his or her due. Consider a professional athlete who scores the winning points of a game and gives credit to his teammates during a postgame interview for making the play possible—it’s a humble and gracious public act. But rest assured, in private the attentive optimist athlete is still extremely proud of his accomplishments.
    By contrast, an undiluted optimist is inclined to see this one example as definitive proof of his athletic superiority and never-ending good fortune. That’s just how great I really am , he might tell himself. And a pessimist, as suggested previously, will give the credit to external factors (perhaps other people) and so reap very little or no satisfaction from his own contribution. He might think, My winning point doesn’t really count because my team is so good or The opposition is so bad that a monkey could have made the play .
    An attentive optimist will accept appropriate responsibility when a task, event, or situation goes wrong, and then explore what can be learned from the experience. This is likely to include lessons for the future, which is in sharp contrast to the undiluted optimists, who tend to place the responsibility elsewhere.
    An attentive optimist, then, is the kind of person we should all strive to be. But how much of one are you?
Are You an Attentive Optimist?
    The following diagnostic is designed to help you determine how much of an optimist you already are and which ways you can adapt yourself to become an attentive optimist, if you want to.
    For each of the following statements, imagine the described situation and allocate a total of 10 points between the four options ( a, b, c , and d ). This could be a combination of 3, 3, 4, 0 or 10, 0, 0, 0 or 7, 0, 2, 1—whatever you think best represents your inclination in each situation. The only rule is that the total points for each statement equal 10.
Example:
      0. My favorite color is blue.
    a. Only on weekends   2  
    b. Unless it’s paired with orange   4  
    c. Because it feels cool   0  
    d. Because it brings out my eyes   4         (Total points: 10)
Your Optimism/Pessimism Diagnostic
      1. Someone is rude to me for no obvious reason.
    a. She is having a bad day. ____
    b. She is a rude person. ____
    c. I barely noticed. ____
    d. I must have done something wrong. ____
      2. My proposal for a new project at work is rejected.
    a. I can learn from this for next time. ____
    b. I messed up. ____
    c. They wouldn’t know a great idea if it was in front of their noses. ____
    d. That destroys my chances of promotion. ____
      3. I phone my favorite local restaurant to reserve a table, but it is already fully booked.
    a. I may as well find somewhere better. ____
    b. It’s my own fault for not calling earlier to make a reservation. ____
    c. Why is it always me who has to book the restaurant anyway? ____
    d. I’ve ruined the whole evening. ____
      4. I cook dinner for friends, and although they say it is delicious, most of them barely touch the food on their plates.
    a. In the future, I’ll practice a new dish before trying it on guests. ____
    b. I’m embarrassed. I am a terrible host. ____
    c. My friends said it was delicious and I’ve no reason

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