Read Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) for Free Online Page B

listening to his laboured breathing and the ticking of the clock.  He knew not how long he waited, wishing to ask so many questions and realizing that the time for that had passed.  The curtains were drawn, and the room was shadowed.  He felt his father’s hand grow increasingly cold and he tried to stop his own from trembling as he felt the life ebb away.  Finally the time came when the pounding of his heart was louder than the sound of the rare breaths, and then that was all that remained.  He waited and listened, there was nothing.  The clock ticked, but time stood still.  George Darcy was dead, and Fitzwilliam was alone.
     
    2 OCTOBER 1807
    We attended the assembly last night, and had such a good time!  I danced five times with boys of the neighbourhood.  They were nice enough but did not have much to say.  I liked Mr. Hugus the best, but Mama said that he was not good enough for any of her girls and shooed him away.  I asked Papa why she would discourage him, and he explained that since he was a tradesman, a marriage to a gentlewoman, even one with little dowry, would be a great step upwards for him.  That is when I realized that his smiles for me were not those of admiration, but of opportunity.  It seems that love is a notion for novels and poets, and a business for everyone else. I suppose that is why Mama married Papa, I cannot think of any other reason.
    Poor Charlotte only danced twice.  She is very discouraged, but she is only two and twenty, and has plenty of time to find a husband.  I felt so terribly when Mama spoke of her as plain to Aunt Philips!  I wish she would keep her views to herself, or at least learn to whisper more softly!
    Jane danced every set, of course.  Dear Jane, she will be sure to marry soon.  I hope that she finds a man as good and kind as she is.  Lydia and Kitty were sorely disappointed that they were not allowed to attend, but after seeing the frivolity of the evening, I am glad that they were not there, I cannot imagine what sort of mischief they would have found!  Mary was glad to remain at home.  I am sure that she spent her time playing every ponderous song she knew on the pianoforte since Mama was not here to chastise her!
     
    Elizabeth smiled at the thought of Mary delighting in her chance to play in peace, then closed her journal and sighed, and looked out the window at the falling leaves.  She suddenly felt melancholy and was not sure why. 
    At the same moment, Darcy stopped his pensive leaning on the window frame and looked down at the black armband he wore, then sat down in the chair behind the great mahogany desk in his father’s, now his, study.  He looked upon the miniatures of his mother and sister, then up to see a portrait of Guillaume d’Arcy, the ancestor who had come with the Normans and William the Conqueror from France and was the father of Darcys in Britain.  He drew a deep breath and fought back the emotion he felt, hearing his father’s words in his mind that last day, only a week ago.  “Remember, you are a Darcy!”  He opened his journal and began to write.
     
    2 October 1807
    The week of public mourning is over, and at last Pemberley is free of visitors.  The distraction of people was good for a time, but I am happier now to be alone with my thoughts.  Georgiana is lost and only seems to stop her weeping when Aunt Helen holds her.  I was so grateful that Aunt Catherine did not come; I believe that she would have upset her more.  I only learned yesterday that Aunt Catherine had written to Georgiana saying that she would take her away to live at Rosings.  I would never allow that, but I am afraid that it has frightened her terribly.  I will write to our aunt to ask her to desist.  I am certain that she will; she wishes to curry my favour.  Uncle Henry said that he had received an express from her already asking when I would wed Anne.  The thought of marriage is hardly uppermost in my mind, least of all to