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too.
    “There you go, but you’re not nearly as tough as I thought if that’s your best hit. You’re pissed, remember? This is your chance to get even.”
    I swing again. Tegan is behind the bag, holding it, but I didn’t even see him move. My fist makes contact a third time. “That’s it. Now I’m feelin’ it. Let it out, Annabel Lee.”
    Again and again my fists make contact, harder and harder on the punching bag.
    “Tell ‘em how you feel. Whoever it is: parents, friends, some other jerk, boyfriend…”
    “Don’t have a boyfriend, but the others I do have.” Not that I’m mad at Em, because she’s all I have, but no matter how much I love my parents, I am mad at them. Over and over I punch. My arms are aching way more than my legs were earlier. My chest hurts I’m breathing so hard and God, I probably look like the world’s biggest idiot, but I don’t care.
    I’m showing Billy how he makes me feel. Telling Mom how much she hurts me.
    “Damn, that was a good one,” Tegan says from behind the bag. “Keep it up. Get rid of it because it doesn’t belong here. This is your time. No one else’s. If they aren’t motivating you, they don’t belong here.”
    I hit harder, faster.
    It’s amazing how freeing this is. Like somehow I’m really showing Billy how horrible he’s been to me. Showing him I don’t care, even though I do.
    “Whew! That one about knocked me out. Chicks who kick ass are hot.”
    Hot? What the hell? I know I’m not ugly. I’m not, but no one has ever called me hot before. It’s too late to stop my swing. It’s flying so fast and hard, I lose my target. My glove slips off the punching bag, but the momentum doesn’t slow. My fist lands right in Tegan’s face and he stumbles backward.
    “Ouch! Shit that hurt.”
    Holy cow! I just hit Tegan. I rush toward him. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened.”
    He’s got his hand over his left eye. “You hit me. Almost knocked me out, that’s what happened.”
    Tegan shakes his head, like he’s trying to wake himself up. When he moves his hand, I see a small bruise forming underneath it. “Man, I’m so sorry.” And then I realize, I gave my trainer a black eye! Not that I like hurting people, but it’s kind of invigorating just knowing I have that kind of strength in me.
    “Feels good, does it? I thought you were a lover, not a fighter? Could have fooled me.” I almost apologize again, but he’s smiling.
    “How can you smile after I gave you a black eye?”
    “You gave me a black eye?” he asks.
    “A little one.”
    He nods. “Bad ass...”
    It’s then I remember why I accidentally hit him in the first place. All the anger I just punched away comes flooding back at me. The memories. The lies. They sing in my blood, pulsing right beneath the surface of my skin. Does he think I’m going to fall for that? That I don’t know he’s playing me? Let’s tease the poor little fat girl and make her think she’s something special. I rip the gloves off and throw them to the ground. “Whatever. I’m done.” Without another word, I turn and walk out, tears stinging my eyes.
    When I hear his footsteps behind me, I run. As I peel away from the lot, he stands on the street, watching me go.

 
    Chapter Five
    BEN AND JERRY, I MISSED YOU
    The next day isn’t a gym day for me. I spend it at home and with Em. She can tell something’s wrong with me, but every time she asks, I blow it off like it’s nothing. It should be nothing, but for some reas on, it’s not. I feel like scum right now. Actually, worse than scum.
    “Is this about that jerk, Billy?” she’d asked
    I’d been honest when I told her no. Because it isn’t about Billy. It’s about Tegan and the way heat simmered inside me when he teased about being hot. The way my heart sped up and my stomach dropped at the same time. More than anything, it’s about the split second before accidental contact between my fist and his face, where I want ed