Read Me (New Adult Erotic Romance) (Perfect Chaos #1) for Free Online Page A

I pulled it away from him “You are not my brother, so stop acting like it.”
    “No, I’m not, but I still care about you.”
    He cared about me. That was a joke. He cared about me so much that he kept kissing me, and leaving me high and dry every time we came close to doing what both our bodies craved, and I was sick of it.
    It might’ve been the alcohol talking, but I couldn’t get the question off my mind. “If you cared about me so much, why didn’t you make love to me that night in my bedroom?”
    His eyebrows furrowed. “That’s where you want to go with this?”
    “I just want to know why. You kissed me back, and then you acted like it was the biggest mistake you ever made. Just like the other day. Just like tonight.” I stepped closer to him, and reached up, resting my hand on his cheek. “I know you feel it too.”
    “It doesn’t matter what I feel.” He tried to walk away, but I grabbed his arm and held him in place. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, as I stepped closer to him. I pressed my hand back to his cheek, and he wrapped his fingers around mine. The gentle touch warmed my heart and shot heat to my core.
    His gorgeous hazel eyes darkened with desire, but a battle still raged beneath.
    “Don’t fight it,” I whispered, brushing my lips against his.
    He grabbed my waist, and just when I thought he would pull me tight against him, he yanked away from me. “I can’t.”
    “Bullshit!” I yelled. “You and I both know that is a load of crap. Why don’t you want me?” I sounded desperate and pathetic, but I didn’t care. This was years of wondering, questioning every touch and analyzing every sweet word he ever said to me. 
    Beckham ran his hands over his head, tugging on his bun. Tension pulled tight across his arms, and his veins pulsated under his skin. “You’re Nixon’s little sister.”
    “For once in your fucking life, be honest with me because we both know that’s a goddamn lie.” 
    His jaw clenched, and his Adam apple bobbed.
    I moved back over to him, and pleaded one last time. “Just tell me the truth. Why aren’t I good enough for you?”
    He pulled away from me again, laying his hands flat on the wall. His head hung between his arms, and after a moment, he slammed both hands into the brick. “Dammit,” he screamed and pushed off the building, turning to face me. He threw his hands out in from of him. “You’re too good for me. That’s the problem.”
    I froze, completely shocked by his words. 
    He rested his hand on his chest, and walked toward me. “I can’t give you what you want. I don’t make love. I don’t know how. I fuck. And you deserve better than that.”
    His honesty knocked me back a few steps, but I quickly recovered my footing and took a couple steps towards him in an effort to get closer. Once I was standing back in his space, I ran my finger down Beckham’s arm, and looked up into his striking eyes. I leaned in until my lips were barely a whisper from his. “What if I wanted you to?”
    He swallowed and parted his lips, but then placed his hands on his head again, and shook his disapproval. “No. I’m not doing this.” He moved away until his back was up against the brick of the building.
    I reached out, balling his shirt in my hand, and running my fingers up his chest. “I want you to. You don’t have to make love to me. I’ll take you, however I can get you. Just stop thinking. You know you want me.” I touched my fingertips to his face, trailing them down his cheek. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re trying so hard not to grab my ass right now. Trying not to tighten your hands on my waist and pull me against that bulge in your pants.”
    His eyes locked with mine, and they were frantic and full of lust. “Nixon would kill me,” He said, his voice a horse whisper.
    I bit my lip, and ran my fingers up the back of his neck into his hair. “Nixon never has to know.”
    He closed his eyes, and then blinked up at me,