right?
Well, anyway, thatâs what happened. Make of it what you like. I donât really care. I was there. It happened. I know it.
After Iâd made sure he was dead I went over and sat in Dadâs armchair. Which was kind of an odd thing to do, because Iâd never sat there before. Ever.
I sat there for a long time.
A long time.
I suppose I must have been thinking. Or maybe not. I donât know. I donât remember. I just remember sitting there, alone in the evening silence, enshrined behind closed curtains, alone with the careless tick-tocking of the clock on the mantelpiece. I think that was the first time Iâd ever heard it.
The harsh clatter of rain jerked me out of my trance. It was ten oâclock. I stood up and rubbed my eyes then went over to the window and pulled back the curtain. It was pouring down. Great sheets of rain lashing down into the street. I closed the curtain again and turned around. There he was. My dead dad. Still dead. Still buckled over, sprawled across the hearth like a broken doll. The buttons on his shirt were still undone where Iâd listened at his heart. I stooped down and did them up again.
An image suddenly flashed into my mind â one of those chalk outlines that detectives draw around the murder victimâs body. It amused me, for some reason, and I let out a short strangled laugh. It sounded like someone else, like the sound of laughter echoing in a ghost town.
I sat down again.
What are you going to do? I asked myself.
The telephone on the table by the door sat there black and silent, waiting. I knew what I
ought
to do.
Wind-blown sheets of rain were rattling against the window. The room was cold. I was shivering. I shoved my hands deep down into my pockets.
This was a sweet mess.
Then the doorbell rang.
It was Alex, of course. No one else ever came round to our house, no one except for debt-collectors and Mormons. And Aunty Jean once a year.
I let Alex in, closed the front door, and took her into the kitchen. She looked wonderful. Her hair was bunched up on the top of her head, tied with a light-blue ribbon, and one or two fine black strands hung rain-wet and loose down the pale curve of her neck. Her face ... Alexâs face. It was so pretty. Fine. Perfect. A pretty girlâs face. Her teeth were white as mints. She was wearing the same clothes sheâd been wearing that afternoon at the bus stop â combat jacket, white T-shirt, old blue jeans. All wet through.
She put her bag on the table and wiped a mist of rain from her brow. âWhereâs your dad?â
âIn the front room,â I said. âDo you want some tea?â
I put the kettle on and sorted out the mugs and tea things while Alex sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing some warmth into her arms. âItâs a bit cold in here, isnât it?â
The kettle boiled and I filled two mugs.
âEnjoy yourself?â I asked.
She shrugged. âIt was all right.â
âWhereâd you go?â
âNowhere. Dean was fiddling about with some stuff from the shop, tape recorders, computer stuff, I donât know.â
I fished the teabags from the mugs and threw them at the bin but they missed and splatted onto the lino. I added milk to the tea.
âAlex?â
âWhat?â
I put the teas on the kitchen table and sat down.
âIâve got a problem,â I said.
âYouâre not pregnant are you?â she joked.
âNo.â
âSorry.â She stopped smiling. âWhat is it? Is it bad?â
âItâs bad.â
âHow bad?â
â
Bad
bad.â
âOh.â
âItâs Dad.â
âWhat about him?â
âHeâs dead.â
And then I told her what had happened.
âShow me,â she said.
I took her into the front room. She shuddered a little and wiped nervously at her mouth.
âCover him up, Martyn.â
I found a sheet in the airing cupboard and laid