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pioneer times. Consider:
     
Computers = computer porn
VCRs = VHS porn
Film = film porn
Telephone = phone sex
Telegraph = I'm sure that ten minutes after this was invented, there was a guy working the telegraph with one hand and whacking off with the other.
    What comes next? My guess: virtual reality. As soon as this technology is invented, society is in big, big trouble. Seriously. They have this on Star Trek where you can go into a room and experience full-body holograms of whatever you ask for. Look, as soon as that happens, there will be no starships, no lasers, no war, no industry, and no society. The day that a guy can press a button and have sex with Jessica Alba/Simpson/ Biel is the day that no one ever goes to work again.
     
    Why do we always make porn out of technology? Because the guys who make brilliant leaps in technology aren't seeing the business end of a boob very often. Think of the guys who invented the Internet. (No, not Al Gore—the other guys.) About ten seconds after they came up with it, I'm sure they were working on ways to meet women, real or otherwise. It's just the natural way.
     
    So how do you, the girlfriend/wife/what-have-you, deal with this obsession? Porn is not so different from what the two of you are supposed to be doing together… and ain't no way you're doing… that.
     
    No worries. A real man doesn't expect you to. This is just his fantasy world. Hold on, don't get disgusted. Remember male sexual fantasies? Remember how I told you they weren't like your fantasies? Yeah, here's what I was talking about. A man does not watch porn like an athlete watching game tape, looking for tips and planning out his next move. (Well, a smart man doesn't do that, anyway.)
     
    In other words, we don't have fantasies about this stuff thinking that it might actually happen. (The things that we are allowed to actually do, we just do. Why fantasize about… reality?)
     
    I know you want him to fantasize differently. I know, I know. But he doesn't. The good news is it shouldn't matter. I know that there are men who are “addicted” to porn, but that's a different thing. If we're talking about your average man with your average porn fascination? No worries: We do not expect or need you to like it.
     
    And if he does want you to get into watching and/or emulating porn with him, there's nothing wrong with saying, “Listen, that stuff doesn't do it for me, okay? It's not my thing.” Just make sure you follow that up with, “But you know what does do it for me…?” I think you'll find that this is one of those areas in which men can be excellent listeners.
     

Fake Biology Break
    Okay, if I may, I'd like to pause for a moment and talk science. Given that I went to an arts school where my math and science requirements were fulfilled by taking a nutrition class taught by a fat person, feel free to take this “science” with a grain of salt. (But only a grain, because, as I recall from that class, sodium is bad for you. Or maybe it was good for you. Hard to remember when the teacher once listed a doughnut as a part of a healthy breakfast. Seriously.)
     
    Here's the issue for men. We are biologically predetermined to be the aggressors in sex, because we can make as many babies as there are vaginas to put them in. Women can only make one baby at a time. Or two, in my sister's case. Actually, wasn't there somebody on the news who had, like, eleven at once? Look, let's not get all hung up on the numbers. No matter how many babies there are, they still only have one place to hang around in until they're born, is my point. And for good or ill, men don't have that physical restriction.
     
    Now, this doesn't mean that all men need to do something about that fact, but on a purely physical level, men are only limited by (a) the hours in the day, and (b) our ability to convince you ladies to let us do sex unto you.
     
    So since our brains are constantly on the lookout for potential vacation spots for our