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it would be a better idea for me to tap the trigger because of my size and relative inexperience with submachine guns. Sara would sometimes take me to the gun range in Scottsdale after school and this nice man taught me to shoot. His name was—” Cheza says.
    “Mr. Archer. Say no more.” If Cheza ends up hurt because of that crazy gun-running South African, I will be paying him a visit. “Natasha, I want you and Cheza taking cover behind the bar. I’ll take this side of the hall.” I say from the left side of the hall, by the bathroom.
    I hear the elevator door ding and I motion for them to get into cover. They do so while I rush to the front doorway now that Cheza can’t argue. I enhance my hearing and listen for the footsteps of our guest, waiting for them to get closer. I’ll round the corner and surprise them when they are about twenty feet away: Fifty…forty…thirty…twenty-five…stopped. Stopped?
    “Cole, this is an example of you putting your hearing to good use!” I hear someone whisper.
    “TIA!?” I shout in surprise as I round the corner.
    “Hey Cole, glad to see you’re safe but it sounds like I got here a little late. Are the other two alright?” Tia asks as we walk into the room. “Looks like you got shot a few times.”
    My eyes go wide as Cheza shouts from the bar, “COLE YOU GOT SHOT!?”
    “His jacket I mean, don’t worry Chezarei!” Tia says, thankfully catching the hint. “So what’s been going on? That anecdote I overhe ard was hilarious by the way. Nice thinking Cole!”
    “Thanks. Well—” I say.
    “I mean, it was very nice of you to coat the ping pong paddle handle in baby oil before shoving it up Natasha’s ass in place of lube!” Tia laughs and Natasha joins her. I swear they have to be related.
    “But I didn’t know you were so kinky! Belgian waffle mix and a funnel?” Tia says with a questioning look.
    “Tia, have you ever had any demigod children?” I ask.
    “Why do you…Oh, don’t worry Cole! Everything is the same down there.” Tia says with a wink.
    “Tia, how did you get here? I mean, Cole called you less than fifteen minutes ago.” Cheza asks.
    “Well, something in Cole’s voice made me worried—” Tia starts.
    “You mean you could actually hear me!?” I say with overdramatic surprise.
    “So I called Kira and asked if she could port me from the house to h ere.” Tia says while ignoring me entirely.
    “What’s this ‘port’ thing?” Cheza asks.
    “It’s like opening a dimensional rift or something. Only the heads of each pantheon can port to and on any plane, but all gods can port to their pantheon’s respective planes.” Tia answers.
    “Wait, if the heads can , then is Loki able to do it now too?” I ask.
    “Perhaps in another hundred years or so but a change in power like this has never happened before so we don’t really know. He might already be able to.” Tia says.
    “So, Kira ported to the house and the n Chezarei called asking about were-sharks so Kira is having me audit the Hawaiian pantheon for perfidy and she wants Cole to assist.” Tia finishes.
    “How am I supposed to help figure out if a pantheon has turned traitor?” I ask.
    “I guess I should have specified. Kira doesn’t want you to help me with the investigation so much as she wants you to help by being bait.” Tia explains. “Basically, you should just keep doing what you’re doing and try to find Jason. Any traitorous gods on the islands should come and try to kill you and take Chezarei, so it will all work out!”
    “YEAH, FOR YOU MAYBE!” I shout at her.
    “Anyway, for right now you have already identified one traitor: Kamohoali’i, shark god and stupid brother to my friend Pele, who m I am taking you all to meet now. Oh and Natasha, you’ve been promoted to The Agency’s official liaison to The Faction. Congratulations!” Tia says.
    “Sweet! Do I get my own slave—I mean, assistant? Can I pick Cole!? Come love assistant, and bring the ping