Read Mad About You for Free Online Page A

world and you can grovel at my feet.’
    I put my key in the door and ushered the kids through the kitchen and into the back garden. ‘Go on – I’m waiting with bated breath.’
    Babs threw her enormous bag onto a chair. ‘I’ve got you a job.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘The makeup artist on our show just handed in her notice. Before they had a chance to start looking for someone else, I said they had to hire you.’
    ‘You’re kidding! Really?’
    ‘Yes. I’m not all bad, you know. Anyway, they asked about your history and blah blah blah. I bigged you up, of course. I said you’d worked for the best show on Irish TV and done all the celebrity weddings in Ireland. So they said they’d give you a three-week trial, and if that works out, they’ll hire you on a six-month contract.’
    ‘But when do they want me to start? What sort of hours? What about the kids?’ I was thrilled and nervous all at once. It was too soon – I had so much to sort out and I didn’t knowLondon at all. I’d have to get a nanny. How would I juggle everything?
    Babs opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of wine. ‘You start Monday week so you’ve got plenty of time to sort out your stuff.’
    I sat down at the table. ‘And the hours – what do you think they’ll be?’
    ‘Usually from about nine thirty or ten in the morning till about five, sometimes later, depending on how the show is going. Some of the women need a lot of encouragement to get undressed and look in the mirror. Sometimes it takes hours, which is such a pain in the arse. On those days we always run late.’
    ‘Will I have to travel?’
    ‘Not really. It’s mostly shot in London – we don’t have a big budget.’ Babs rummaged in the cupboards. ‘Do you have anything decent to eat?’
    Wow! A job, and so soon. It had been much easier than I’d expected. It would do me good to work, though. I wouldn’t have time to dwell on the move or my loneliness. Plus I’d be earning my own money and hopefully I’d meet nice people. It was great. Except for one small detail: my sister was the star of the show.
    As if she could read my mind, Babs, who had found a box of animal-shaped crackers in one of the cupboards, said, ‘Obviously I’m the most important person on the programme so you can’t try to boss me around or behave like my sister. You have to be super-nice to me and treat me with respect.’
    ‘Can’t I just ignore you?’
    Babs waved a lion cracker at me. ‘I’m serious. This is my show.’
    ‘Isn’t that what all presenters think until they’re replaced?’
    ‘I’m not going to be replaced. The public love me.’
    I resisted the urge to laugh. ‘Whose makeup will I be doing?’
    ‘Mine, although obviously you won’t have much work to do on me, and then you’ll have to do the women we’re making over. Some are shocking-looking, so you’ll have your work cut out for you.’
    ‘You have such a lovely way with words.’ I held out my hand. Babs passed me a giraffe cracker.
    ‘So, are you in?’
    ‘Absolutely. Now I just need to find a childminder.’
    Yuri and Lara came running in from the garden.
    ‘Guess what?’ I said.
    ‘We’re going home!’ Yuri ran around the kitchen, cheering. ‘Yeah. I can go to Connor’s house for a play.’
    My heart sank. The poor little guy missed his friends in Dublin so much. ‘No, sweetheart, we’re not going home, but Mummy’s got a new job.’
    Yuri looked crestfallen.
    ‘Is the beautiful girl going to mind us?’ Lara asked, still dazzled by the au pair next door.
    ‘No, Mummy’s going to find a different minder.’ One who looks like an old troll, I thought. An old troll with rotten teeth and severe acne so Daddy won’t be tempted by her.
    ‘Can I have a cracker?’ Yuri asked Babs.
    She shook the box. ‘Sorry, Short-fry, I ate them.’
    ‘But I want one.’ Yuri looked as if he was about to cry. ‘It’s mean to eat them all. It’s not fair.’
    Babs laid her hand on his head. ‘Listen,