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Led Three Lives

    SIX
    September, 1979

    Catherine was destined to become several
important things to me. But most prominently, she would become my
problem solver. Before I met her, I had a bunch of problems. Then,
all of sudden, with her in my life I had only one.

    I didn't see her again for about
two weeks after the party while the Tedesco estate jury trial raged
in Harris County Probate Court. I wasn't covering it, and I was
busy with cases on my own beat. So I stayed away. I spent the time
self-absorbed in my personal dilemma, something I had been doing a
lot. And I thought about Herbert A. Philbrick.

    For those who
don't recall, Philbrick shared his life story in the early Cold War
1950s with a tension-filled book and then a television series
entitled I Led Three
Lives . The stories followed his adventures
living three secret, separate lives simultaneously. To most of the
world, Philbrick was a private citizen working in a Boston
advertising agency. To the Soviets, however, he was a communist
sympathizer and spy in his own country. And, for the US government,
he was a double agent, placing himself in danger to help his nation
fight the Red menace. On one level the program thrilled viewers by
dramatizing the dangers of a regular guy acting as international
spy. On another level, however, Philbrick offered a message for
everyone, even those in more mundane walks of life. To a certain
extent, each of us lives several lives that often intersect. Some
follow more contradictory simultaneous paths than others. But each
of us must learn to balance those lives, adjusting the tempo to
make the combination a tool for growth rather than destruction. If
those paths cross and conflict, sooner or later you have to choose
one and leave the others behind.

    So it was that I came to analyze my
three lives and now, years later, recognize how they worked to
first lead me into the turmoil ahead, and then, in the end, deliver
me from disaster. It's been hard for me to appreciate the story of
Catherine and me without first understanding my three lives and how
she helped to forge them into a single path. They weren't as
glamorous as Philbrick's, but each had its moments. First came my
life as a dedicated, professional journalist. Second was my life as
a responsible husband and father. And, third came my life as a
reckless, but charming, rogue. I had no regrets about any one of
them while realizing there were times when one interfered with
another. Somehow I had managed to maintain them on separate but
parallel lines for more than a decade—my entire adult life to that
date—until they led me to Catherine, and I had to choose. I enjoyed
each life in its own way and would be hard-pressed to pick one over
another. Actually, now that I think about it, the charming rogue
beats hell out of the other two. But seriously, how long can you
effectively juggle that one against anything else—unless you are a
congressman or member of the Royal Family?

    Of the three lives that comprised
my existence, however, "professional journalist" dominated as the
strongest thread among three layers of twine twisted into a single
rope. That life overlapped the others and drove them along. And my
focus on the integrity of that professional life would turn out to
be my strongest weapon in the battle of wills about to ensue with
Catherine Mehaffey.

    SEVEN
    The 1950s

    The professional emerged first and at a
surprisingly early age, spawned by ego and its inspirational
sidekick, ambition. Who can explain the roots of a work ethic?
Nature versus nurture traditionally frames the debate. Is anyone
born with a work ethic? Although I tend to doubt that, I recall
things I did as a child that would indicate I had one before I even
became aware of the concept of work or watched my old man bury
himself alive with it. In trying to understand it over the years, I
have transferred the concept to ambition, which might be a more
natural explanation of how a disposition toward success