had asked; mostly because he had felt like doing so himself. Screaming and running. But he knew better. His father couldnât stand weakness in his only son.
Mack had chuckled at that. Like father, like son. âProbably so. But remember this thoâ, real men die brave.â
âFor real.â Topps didnât see anything brave about the dark, thin man down on his knees, crying and begging for his life.
His father had the gun in his hand, trained on its target. âTake this nigga here. Heâs what you call a skimmer. You pay him well. Treat âim like heâs family and still he skims off the top of your money. Stealing like he deserves it. You give his ass a break. Give âim time to return what heâs taken, but he donât listen. Punks you in front of your soldiers. That ainât good. See what Iâm saying?â
Topps had bobbed his head. âYes, Daddy.â
âMack, please,â the man had tried to plead. His hands had taken a praying position. âMan, donât do this, please. Iâma get your money. I promise.â
Mack had snorted back, âMan, thatâs what you said last month, so shut the hell up!â
âCâmon, man. You know me. We like brothers. You know my woman just had a baby. It was borrowing; thatâs all. You know, for milk and diapers.â
Mack had hauled his hand back but didnât slap him. âMan, didnât I tell you to shut the hell up? Ainât nobody trying to hear that sorry shit. The game is over for you.â
Topps had felt sorry for the poor fool. He wanted to close his eyes until it was all over, but he couldnât. His father would think that he was weak.
âHere, lilâ man. You wanna pull the trigger?â
His father had passed the heavy gun to him. The feel of coldpower had been in his small hands, right at his face. He felt like he was in control. Like he held the power of life and death. But he couldnât pull the trigger.
âDaddy, I canât.â Topps had tried passing the gun back.
âPull the trigger, TJ. Donât think about it. Pull the damn trigger!â
Tears had sprung to his eyes. âDaddy, I donât want to.â
âNigga, what the hell!â Mack had angrily yanked the .38 from his young hands. The gun popped off twice and the begging man fell over with bright red seeping from the center of his head. A few splatters of blood and brain went everywhere, even some on Toppsâ hands.
âNow you listen to me.â His father got in his face. âOne day this whole damn operation will be yours. You understand me? Yours! And you canât be giving chances and slipping when it comes to your damn money. Ainât no forgive and forget in this game. Niggas get popped every damn day. You get they ass before they get you. Thatâs the goal. You understand me?â
âYes, sir.â Tears had rolled down Toppsâ ten-year-old face.
âNext time I tell yoâ weepy ass to pull the fucking trigger, you pull it. You understand me?!â
âYes, sir.â
âStanding here crying like some sissy. Go wash yoâ damn face!â Mack walked away to get his soldiers to come clean up his mess.
Topps had hurried into his fatherâs private bathroom to wash his hands and face. He had never felt so dirty in his life. Blood felt like it was burning on his skin. He had scrubbed with a frenzy, but the more soap he had used, the dirtier he had felt. Never the less, his fatherâs words had remained with him. âGet their ass before they get you. Pull the damn trigger!â
The next time came two weeks later. Another soldier was caught stealing. Mack gave the order. Fearful that it was either his lifeor the perpetratorâs, Topps popped him. He became a ten-year-old murderer, ruthless and cunning. He never dwelled on it. Shit happened. People did what they had to do in life.
That was twenty-five years ago. Eight