me.”
Jewell was taken aback by his words. How
could he know what she was doing when she came to see him in ICU?
How did he know it was her, and not someone else?
“In the emergency room too. I felt you, your
eyes, looking at me. I know it was you. You sat with me, you were
crying. Why?”
Jewell didn’t know how to answer that
question. In fact, she was unsure of a lot of things right now. She
felt like a deer caught in a car’s headlights, knowing that it
needs to run to save itself, but not being able to move, staring at
the car that would soon end its life.
He turned then, to look at her. His eyes were
nothing like what she had expected. They weren’t blue at all, as
she imagined they would be, but gray, almost black, like clouds
just before a thunderstorm. And now those eyes were focused on her,
trapping her in his intense stare. He didn’t say anything else; he
simply waited, expecting her to respond to his question.
She couldn’t remember the question. She
couldn’t remember her name, or what she was doing here. Her heart
was racing so fast she was certain she was going to faint. Her
knees started trembling, and her hand was pushing against the wall,
bracing her, keeping her from falling. Then she realized she wasn’t
breathing. She concentrated, and was able to draw a deep, gasping
breath.
Swallowing hard, she took another deep breath
before trying to speak. When she finally felt she could say
something, she asked “Excuse me? What did you say?” But her voice
was only a whisper, and she wasn’t sure that he heard what she had
said from across the room.
“I said, why were you crying?”
“How…how do you know that? How can you know
when you were…?” Her voice trailed off, unable to say dead, unable
to convince herself that his death had really happened, that he had
defied death and was now speaking to her.
“I don’t know,” he whispered, “it was like I
was dreaming, but it was more…real. I knew even before I turned
around what you would look like, because I saw you then, in the
emergency room.” His voice was measured, even. She realized then
that he was probably as confused as she was. “Would you like to sit
with me? I don’t get many visitors. At least, none that don’t want
to poke me with something.”
Jewell stepped away from the door, testing
her legs. She wasn’t sure that they were solid enough to support
her weight. When she was certain that she wouldn’t collapse if she
let go of the wall, she walked carefully across the room toward the
recliner on the other side of his bed. He watched her attentively
as she moved around the room. When she reached the recliner, she
put her hands on the arms of the chair and carefully eased herself
down. She was relieved to be sitting, she wasn’t sure she would
have been able to stand much longer.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” He
grinned, his smile lopsided because of the injuries to his
face.
“I’m sorry; I don’t remember what you
asked.”
“Why were you crying?”
“Well, I guess because it’s sad when
someone…” She was about to say “dies” but thought better of it
“well, when someone gets injured because someone else was doing
something stupid. My mother was killed by a drunk driver; I guess
the situation just reminded me of her.”
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed as he looked
away from her.
Was he expecting something else? What was the
answer that he wanted to hear? That she was crying because she
thought she had lost her soul mate? Because she wouldn’t meet
someone she should have met? Because fate had ripped from her the
one person who would complete her life? Was that what he was
waiting for? Was that how he felt too? Could she find the courage
to tell him that?
When he didn’t say anything for several
minutes, she pushed herself up from the chair. “Well, I guess I had
better go. My father will be expecting me. I’m…well, I’m glad to
see that you are doing so