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soothe its rapid beat, “Thank you,” he muttered faintly. “Darlings, I’m sorry to make such a fuss. Oh dear, dear, dear, I do hate the things.” Before he could explain his extraordinary outburst, the door opened once more and this time Josie came in.
    “The blushing bride!” cried Sizal, quickly leaping back to his feet. “The star of the show! Come here, come here, come here! Sit, sit, sit! It’s your big day, darling, and I’m going to make you look so beautiful, the gods themselves will weep with jealousy. Now be off, all of you! I need to give Miss Diamond my complete, undivided attention.”
    He hastily removed our curlers, squirted hairspray over us, then ushered Graham, Kelly and me out of the room with such speed that I snagged one of my fig leaves on the key that was sticking out of the door.
    Graham and I had been instructed to go down to the entrance hall next, where Tessa would be waiting. As soon as we appeared she confined us to yet another chaise longue and told us to sit, without moving a muscle, while Josie was primped and preened for the day ahead. We couldn’t scratch our noses or go to the toilet for fear of wrecking our clothes or make-up. All we could do was talk to each other in whispers – and the first thing we said was, “What was all
that
about?”

the blushing bride
    By now the villa’s entrance hall was bursting with chattering nymphs, giggling dryads and laughing satyrs waiting to escort the bride to the ceremony. There was no sign of Angelica but we saw Bill leave for the chapel with Ruby and the other guests. Tessa was left in charge, making notes on a clipboard and issuing orders to the attendants. She looked stressed, which was hardly surprising: you could barely hear yourself think above the buzz of excited conversation. But the second Josie appeared, everyone fell silent.
    Her usual look was fresh-faced and make-up-free, and even in jeans and an old T-shirt she was stunningly pretty. By the time Sizal Bouffant, Lucia and Hazel had finished with her, she looked beautiful beyond belief. She materialized in the entrance hall like a goddess and all the bridal attendants gasped. Her face was literally glowing with joy.
    Kelly, on the other hand, looked almost sick with jealousy. “You look great,” she said insincerely. “Nice dress.”
    “Oh, thank you!” said Josie. Her voice wobbled a bit as if she was nervous. “Bill chose it. I wasn’t so sure about all this, but he wanted to do something really special, you know?” She looked over to Tessa. “Are we ready?”
    I nudged Graham carefully, so as not to jog his fig leaves, and hissed, “She seems happy…”
    “So she should be,” Graham whispered back. “She’s been wishing for this since she was a child.”
    “Be careful what you wish for,”
I murmured, suddenly remembering an old saying of my gran’s. “Have you ever heard that phrase?”
    “For it might come true,”
Graham finished for me. Then he added, “But Josie doesn’t seem to have any reservations about achieving her life’s ambition.”
    We didn’t have time to say more because Tessa was rounding people up in earnest now and giving out orders. Our procession to the chapel was going to be a complicated affair. Half the satyrs, nymphs and dryads would lead the way, frolicking along the cobbled street to the tune of Bill’s first hit, “My One, My Only”. It was being played on pan pipes and lyres to fit with the Venus and Adonis theme, so it sounded a little strange, but that didn’t seem to bother Josie.
    Josie was riding side-saddle on a white horse that had been cunningly fitted with a pair of wings to resemble Pegasus. Graham and I were told to caper either side of it, holding our bows and arrows high. We would be followed by the rest of the attendants, who were going to sing along to the music and perform what looked like a complicated dance sequence.
    Thankfully, our own routine was fairly simple – two steps diagonally left, two