get a hold of me now? A year had come and gone and he hadn’t reached out to me before. What if he was hurt? What if he was in the hospital or something? I sighed then responded. What do you want?
Thank you for replying. I just want to talk. Can I come over?
What? To my apartment? I don’t think so. Messaging will suffice.
I need to say this in person. Please.
I have no interest in anything you have to say.
I’m coming over anyway.
Shit! I live in a new apartment. You’re wasting your time.
I’m calling your bluff. I’ll be there in minute. I’m a block away.
Fuck! Why was this happening? Why did he want to talk to me so badly? He didn’t have a problem throwing me away. My apartment was littered with boxes with items stuffed inside. It was a mess. It was pretty clear I was about to move.
I clutched my chest as I realized what was happening. I’d never been more nervous in my life. Sweat was practically pouring out of my ears. I’d rather fight a cockroach than face him.
A knock on the door sounded.
Oh god. What do I do?
“It’s me.” It was Kyle.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Hazel, please open the door.”
Why was this happening to me? But I was curious to know what he wanted. But I preferred to read it in a message than have a real conversation. I could hide behind my phone. In person, there was nowhere for me to run.
“Please,” he said again.
I approached the door and stared at it. It took me a full minute before I grabbed the handle and opened it.
He stared at me, his eyes blue and cryptic. His brown hair was shorter than it used to be. But everything else was the same. He was the same height and the same build. His face was unreadable like it usually was.
Kyle took in my appearance, his eyes lingering on my face and neck. “Hi.”
“Hi…”
“Can I come in?”
“Umm…it’s messy.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“That doesn’t bother me.”
“We can just talk here.”
“In the hallway?” he asked. “I don’t want my conversation to be public.”
“No one cares about what you have to say anyway,” I spat. The words flew out quicker than I could stop them. I didn’t mean to be harsh. It just happened.
He didn’t retaliate. “May I please come in?”
I sighed then stepped out of the way.
“Thank you.”
He walked inside then observed the boxes. “Moving?”
“Cut the shit, Kyle. What do you want?” My tolerance for him was low.
He crossed his arms over his chest then shifted his weight. “I cam e here to apologize for…everything.”
“You already apologized.”
“But now I mean it in a different way. I wish I hadn’t hurt you and treated you that way. I know I broke your heart and sent you to a dark place. What I did was unacceptable. I made a commitment to you and I should have worked through our relationship, not taken off. I regret what I did and I would take it back if I could.”
His apology seemed genuine. There was more emotion in his voice than I’d ever heard. I wondered if there was more to this story. “It’s okay, Kyle. I’m over it.”
“No, you aren’t,” he said simply. “How can someone just get over that?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, closing off from him. “I’m fine.”
“No, you aren’t. Hazel, there was nothing wrong with you. It was all me. I was the problem, not you.”
I didn’t want to dig into our past. I thought I was going to marry Kyle and have a bunch of babies. I thought everything was perfect. But it never was. “I appreciate the apology. Now you can go.”
“I don’t think you believe me,” he said simply. “I really am sorry. I’d do anything to go back in time and change it.”
“Why?” I snapped. “You found your future wife. You loved someone else and you went for it. Why would you trade that to spare me any pain? That makes no sense.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Because she’s not my future wife…”
“What?” I wasn’t being very sensitive but I didn’t