Read Lost to You for Free Online Page A

Lisa out of there as fast as humanly possible. The second we were in the hall, her mouth was on my chin and moving over my jaw. Her hand smoothed its way over my chest, up my neck, and into my hair. My hands dove back into her hair, and I was kissing her and stumbling back as we made our way down the hall.
    Seconds later, she had me in the elevator. The low bleep of the button indicated we’d made it to the seventh floor. I backed down her hall, my hands on her hips as I edged us toward her apartment. My back hit her door with a thud.
    “Christian,” she mumbled.
    Pinned against the wood, it burned into my skin, hard and cold. I sensed too much, the numbness I craved every weekend absent, my hands and mind frantic as I tore at Lisa to get her closer.
    But it was Elizabeth’s face in my head. Her soft skin under my hands. My fingers digging into her hips.
    I jerked my face back from Lisa, raised it to the ceiling, and sucked in a breath as I forced the image aside.
    Lisa’s mouth went to my exposed neck as she blindly fumbled through her purse. Metal clinked as she withdrew her keys. She reached around me to wiggle one into the lock and let us into her dark apartment.
    I already knew the way to her room. I had been there several times.
    I palmed Lisa’s slender hips, and flattened my body against hers. And Elizabeth was still there, her hips curvier, her round ass fitting perfectly in my hands.
    I groaned, and Lisa giggled.
    Fuck.
    My hands snaked under her shirt, my palms gliding up her sides as I pushed it over her head.
    Oh God.
    My mouth came down aggressive against Lisa’s as I palmed her breast in my hand, anything to fill up and shut out whatever was resisting this from happening tonight.
    Lisa ripped my shirt over my head, went for the buttons on my jeans while I kicked off my shoes. Her skirt was on the floor and I was pushing her to her bed. I climbed between her legs.
    And all I saw was Elizabeth, could do nothing but imagine what she’d look like lying there instead, how soft she would feel. How this would feel different.
    I could never have Elizabeth, but still, I knew I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t fuck some girl while I pictured Elizabeth’s face. It was wrong—disrespectful to Lisa—but what I really cared about was the overwhelming feeling that it was even more disrespectful to Elizabeth.
    Unwelcomed hands were at my waistband, pushing down my underwear. I struggled back, got to my knees, and pinned her arms at her sides.
    For a moment, confusion filled Lisa’s eyes, before a slow, sexy grin took her over, misunderstanding seeded in the manipulated compliance.
    I dropped my head, a heavy, regretful breath forced from my lungs. “I can’t do this, Lisa.”
    The confusion was back, a mix of hurt and anger and embarrassment.
    “What did I do? I don’t understand.” I released her arms, and she reached for me, her fingertips just grazing across my bare chest as her eyes and mouth implored, “Please.”
    I understood it then, saw it, all the times I’d done this and then walked out the door, left some girl alone, many times when I didn’t even know her name. Was I really blind enough to believe that they were just like me, that one night was all they ever wanted, that they never gave me a second thought once I was gone? Because when I looked down at the blow I’d just inflicted on Lisa, I knew that was not the case. She’d thought of me, wanted me.
    “I’m sorry, Lisa.” Scooting off her bed, I fumbled to get back into my jeans. I grabbed my shirt from the floor and tugged it over my head. “I can’t do this anymore.”
    She looked away, to the wall, and covered her breasts with the drape of her arm. “You’re an asshole.” That statement came so quiet, yet its truth consumed the room.
    “I know.” I guess it was something I’d always known. It was just the first time I’d admitted it.
    I left her there, took the stairs because I needed to burn off some of this unspent