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blame?”
    “How about her?”
    What the fuck? Was Krissa cheating? “What are you saying?” He stared at Derek.
    Derek sighed. “She won’t let things go when she gets an idea in her head. And she’s so emotional.”
    Nate nodded. That was true. “What is it, Derek? I asked you before, but I’m asking again—are you fucking around on her?”
    “No! Jesus. That’s not it.”
    “Then what is it? I feel like I walked into the middle of a soap opera. It’s goddamn uncomfortable with all that tension snapping.”
    Derek opened his mouth, then closed it. He rubbed his face. “Look I’m sorry, man. This is just really bad timing. Here’s the deal.” He lowered his eyes and stared into his beer glass. “Krissa and I have been trying to have a baby.”
    Whoa. Nate’s mind raced ahead. If Krissa was that upset there must be serious problems. “Fuck. Don’t tell me. She can’t get pregnant.”
    “Well. That’s what we thought. We’ve both been through a shitload of tests. Turns out it’s me.” He huffed out a short laugh. “Got no swimmers.”
    Ah, hell. Nate said nothing. What could he say?
    “We just found out yesterday. Got the good news from the doc.” Derek lifted his head and gave Nate a morbid grin. “At least now we know.”
    That was shitty news. No man wanted to hear that. “Well. That really sucks, buddy.”
    “Yeah. So that’s why I was out getting wasted last night. I know Krissa was pissed, but hell. I just felt like getting wasted.”
    “I guess.”
    Derek groaned, put his head in his hands, elbows on the table. “You have no idea, man. We’ve been trying for almost two years. The first year wasn’t bad—lots of fucking, anyway. Then it started to get tense. I felt all this…pressure. Felt like a goddamn loser.” He paused. “Like I wasn’t man enough to knock up my own wife. And Krissa…”
    “What?”
    He turned his head side to side in his hands. “Well, if it wasn’t for her wanting this baby so much, I wouldn’t have…wouldn’t have…fuck.” He lifted his head and reached for his drink.
    Silence fell between them, in the middle of the crowded, boisterous bar. A group of women winding their way through the tables paused beside them. “Hi, guys,” said one of them with an “I’m available” smile. She was cute, a California blonde with a tan and big hooters. Nate gave her an “I’m not interested” half-smile. Derek looked her up and down and smiled, too.
    “Hi,” he said. Nate scowled at him. The blonde caught the look and they all moved on.
    “What the hell?” Nate growled. “You’re married, asshole.”
    “I just said hi.” His eyes followed blondie. “She’s cute.”
    “You have a fucking gorgeous wife who loves you at home, crying her eyes out.”
    “Yeah.” Derek swiveled his gaze back to Nate. “I know.”
    “So why’s she crying tonight? You guys were supposed to be talking things over.”
    “She wants to adopt a baby.”
    “Ah.” Nate sipped his beer, cold, bitter, biting. “There you go. Adoption.”
    “No way.” Derek shook his head vigorously. “I don’t want to adopt. Doesn’t work for me.” He gave Nate a condensed version of the discussion, including the artificial insemination option and his reasons for not wanting either of those.
    No wonder Krissa was sad.
    “You get it, don’t you?” Derek leaned forward, a crease between his dark blond eyebrows.
    “You’d rather break your wife’s heart and never have a family than adopt or have artificial insemination.”
    “Well…yeah. Hey, her heart’s not broken. She’ll get over it. She always does. Krissa just likes to keep things peaceful.”
    Nate studied his buddy. How much did she let Derek get away with? He frowned at his beer.
    “How would you feel, man? If it was you.”
    Nate’s mind wandered back in time and his stomach rolled over. The past was all tangled up in betrayal and lies and heartache. Trying to put himself in Derek’s shoes was a bad