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pulled a face at her and said a quick good-bye.
    TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 TH
    It’s Valentine’s Day, and I don’t even have a boyfriend—well, not yet, but maybe soon…. I kept thinking about Dan and wondering if he might email or call, even though I spoke to him only yesterday and he’s not my boyfriend or anything. Silly.
    Poor Zara had a horrible day. Alec dumped her THIS MORNING. She was sobbing when I got into school. Apparently he’s been seeing this other girl for SIX MONTHS. Abigail tried to cheer Zara up all day; she was really sweet. Even though she’s loud and bossy sometimes, she has another side where she’s thoughtful and kind. I haven’t seen much of that side of her recently.
    This evening I clambered onto the roof and thought about Valentine’s Day two years ago. Emily was getting ready to go on a date with Ian. She was with Ian for the last two years of school. I was jealous of him because she never wanted to be with me anymore. Then, when she went to art college, she broke up with him anyway.
    She was putting on this blue dress that emphasized her blond hair and dark eyes. I went to my room and searched through my drawer until I found my silver and sapphirenecklace. I came back to her room and dangled it out.
    “What?” she said.
    “Wear this. It’ll look good.”
    “What do you know about looking good?” she said, taking the necklace.
    “Granny gave it to me,” I replied.
    She held up the necklace, then put it around her neck and pouted at the mirror. She smiled slightly, and I thought she was imagining Ian’s face when he saw her later.
    Oh God, I wish I could be back in that room with her. I’d give up everything—not that I have anything to give up. I’d cling to her so tightly, she wouldn’t be able to breathe.
    I looked at her. I said, “It suits you.”
    “Why didn’t Granny give it to me?”
    “You weren’t here,” I said.
    And she’s not here now. She’s not here. How is that even fair?
    WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15 TH
    Everything has gone wrong.
    School was okay; Rosa-Leigh and I hung out. She showed me another poem and we talked about that. We got the bus home and when I got in, Mum had collected supper, even though it was only takeaway pizza. We even talked a bit about school and stuff, although I only told herwhat I thought she’d want to hear. Then she asked who I’d been speaking to the other night, who’d made my voice go all soppy, and for about half a second it felt like old times when she was interested in me, so I told her that his name was Dan and I was going to his house on Friday.
    She said, “But you can’t. We have a long-standing arrangement with the Haywoods to go for dinner.”
    “I didn’t know.”
    “There’s no way you can get out of it.”
    “Just this once?”
    “No, Sophie.”
    “I’m not a kid anymore.”
    “Don’t start.”
    “I’m not starting. I just don’t want to go.” I pushed my plate to one side and stood up.
    “You have to go.”
    “What for?”
    “Do you think we need to argue about this?”
    “I’m not going.”
    “You don’t have any choice.”
    I knew there was no point to it, because once she’d said it was the Haywoods’ house we were going to, there was no way I’d change her mind. Katherine Haywood is Mum’s best friend from school, and they’ve been family friends forever, and their daughter, Lucy, is supposed to be my friend because we’ve known each other since we were little kids. Normally I wouldn’t mind seeing them but not this Friday.I leaned on the table to stop my hands shaking. “Please don’t make me go. Please, Mum,” I begged.
    She shut her eyes. “We can’t go on like this.”
    “Don’t make this into something it’s not. I just don’t want to go to the stupid Haywoods’.”
    Mum said, “I’ll take your phone and cancel whatever plans are suddenly so much more important than your family.”
    “What family?” I yelled.
    “Give me your phone. If you don’t do it yourself,