Read Look Closer: No Safe Words Here 1-4 out of 5. Boxed Set for Free Online Page A

with some listening, and some rather uncomfortable digesting of past learned information, I’d come to the conclusion there was no such thing as love—undying forever kind, or even in the heat of the moment.  There was just lust and hate, and a millions degrees in between.  Thus I would doubtlessly lose my virginity to a guy I’d probably never see again.
    So I started planning for it in earnest.  I wasn’t much for procrastination.
    First, I technically took my own virginity.  I ordered a latex dildo molded from the neither regions of an adult porn star I’d found by back tracking through some of my brother’s favorite sites.
    No one ever erases their browser memory—stupid... 
    The Dean Phoenix Super-cock arrived at my door in a plain brown paper wrapped package, and since I was the only member of the family who regularly got home before four in the afternoon every day, I liberated it from the mailbox and took it to my room completely un-noticed.
    It came with cleaning instructions, and a tube of Astro-glide, which was rather thoughtful of the dildo and porn producing folks at Falcon Video.
    I waited until after dinner that night, showered, locked my bedroom door, and turned on my favorite Black Keys album.  Not blaring, just load enough to cover any painful utterances I might make during.
    I pulled the Dean Phoenix Super-cock from its plastic boxing, and sat there on my bed staring at it in my hand.  It was only eight and a half inches—by far not the largest I could have ordered, but bigger than the national average for male genitalia (a meager six inches) and seemed to weigh enough to make me have to hold it with both hands.  After I got used to the feel of it in my hand, I slathered it with lube from its mushroom head to its base—right over its large, latex balls.
    I then proceeded to masturbate, which I’d done regularly for the last two weeks while I awaited the Dean Phoenix Super-cock’s arrival.  After a bit of this—to get my feminine juices going (a tip from a better sex sight I poured over diligently)—I started to insert the dildo into my vagina.  After a few inches I felt a sharp, horrific pain, and then felt a warm oozing down there. 
    I’d popped my cherry. 
    I grinned madly through my pain.  I’d done it.  I’d taken my own virginity.
    I pushed in and out a few times, to make sure I’d broke my hymen completely, and then cleaned up.  I’d used an old towel as a drop cloth.  One Mom wouldn’t notice missing.  So after I cleaned up myself and…Dean…disposing of the blood stained towel was a snap.
    Since that night I’d used the dildo three more times, each time bringing myself closer and closer to climax.  But I just couldn’t go all the way over the orgasm cliff.  Somewhere deep inside, I still wanted my first time to be with the guy I liked most in the whole world.
    An oddly romantic notion for me.  And though reasonably I had no firsts left—I’d even tried out fellatio on Dean—I apparently wanted my first orgasm to be a co-ed event.
    So I moved onto the second stage of my plan: finding a male in my own age demographic that also appealed to my libido.
    For the first time ever I scoped out the boys of Hill Crest High School.  And to my chagrin, I found them quite lacking: in brains, in charm, in manners, and most of all in good personal hygiene. 
    But one day as I passed by Mr. Cantalides Algebra two class room, I overheard Mr. C gnashing his too big teeth at one of the varsity basketball players.
    EG Banks was Six feet, three inches tall, built broad of shoulders and thin of hips, and had a disarming charm to his every action.  The fact that he had a face like an angel, and the prettiest brown eyes, just made him all the more attractive.  He also had the darkest flesh I’d ever seen in person, but there was a warmth that seemed to shine through that darkness, like amber, like caramel mixed with dark chocolate.
    He was simply just yummy to behold.
    He was