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him away. He slaps my ass and says, “I love you.”
    Turning to him and his mischievous grin, I give him my sexiest smile—in the hopes of leaving him wanting more, the way he’s left me wanting more. “I love you, too.”
    And before he can rein me in again and torment me with more sultry words, I hurry into the house and out of the front door towards the waiting limo.

    After we’ve picked up the rest of the bachelorette party, we finally come to a stop at a salon. Upon entering, we are greeted at the door by several beauticians who hand us luxury bachelorette gift bags before ushering us to our designated area. Giggling can be heard around the salon, specifically from both Tyler’s and Mia’s moms who are currently waving around florescent pink dildos in the air.
    “Oh my God, Riley! What the hell did you buy us?” Mia shrieks with laughter, looking at the array of goodies in her gift bag before pulling out what appears to be love balls. “Oh God, are these anal beads?”
    Everyone laughs out loud at Mia’s question, including me, and the look of horror on her face is priceless. Her eyes are almost popping out of their sockets.
    “No, they’re Ben Wa balls,” Riley spits through hysterical giggles as she witnesses the alarmed look on her best friend’s face. Curious, I look into my gift bag and I also have a bright pink dildo, love balls, and what looks like a bullet vibrator. The bag also includes a bright pink sash and some accessories that are mostly in the shape of penises.
    Hearing a light buzzing sound, I turn to Jo beside me, and I can’t keep the laughter from bubbling from my mouth as I see she’s already ripped open the packaging from the bullet vibrator and is gently touching it to her nose.
    “Jo, what are you doing?” I question, laughing hysterically. More laughter sounds throughout the salon, until all you can hear is high-pitched cackles.
    “Yeah, baby … I think you’re using it wrong,” chirps Alana with a giggle.
    “Your nose is supposed to be as sensitive as it is downstairs. They say test a vibrator at the tip of your nose, to give you a taste of what it’ll be like, when you’re … you know—”
    “Flicking your bean?”
    All eyes whip to Mia’s mom.
    “Mom!” Mia cries with a serious tone to her voice, but her mouth tilts with amusement, almost as if she’s trying to hold in her laughter.
    “What? I thought that’s what you kids called it these days.”
    My eyes fill up with tears, barely able to breathe through the hysteria.
    “No! Oh my God, Mom!”
    “No, Lauren,” Riley addresses Mia’s mom. ‘It’s just good old masturbating.”
    As a few minutes pass by, the laughter simmers somewhat. Finally trusting we’ve calmed ourselves down, we’re each handed a glass of champagne. But just when I go to take a sip, I inhale the bubbles up my nose as laughter erupts from my mouth when Alana, who is holding up a penis straw, blurts out, “I feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to model for this. Can’t have much of a sex life!”
    The howling madness begins again and I’m left having to try and catch my breath as sweet champagne dribbles down my chin. Then, in the classiest of ways, Alana drops the straw into her champagne flute and takes a sip. She continues to drink, seemingly oblivious to the women around her almost wetting themselves with hysterical laughter.
    “But I have to say, I’m one lucky gal. I’ve had forty years of toe-curling sex thanks to Samuel being hung like a horse!” My eyes bulge out of their sockets, thankful that I don’t have a mouthful of champagne, or I would have just spat it out with shock. “And if my boys are anything like their father …” She looks over to Mia then to me. “You’ll have a lifetime of amazing sex!”
    I stare at Alana in disbelief and as I look over to Mia, I see she’s wearing the same horrified expression with an added pink coloring to her cheeks. Is Ashton’s mom really talking about our sex life