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concentrate. All I can think of is Rae. How gorgeous
she is, from the top of her purple-tipped hair down to her matching
sneakers. The tiny diamond piercing in her nose. Her full pink
lips.
    A part of me is shamed that
I pictured her while Madison and I were screwing. The other part,
doesn’t give a damn, because without that vision I’d never had
gotten my nut off.
    Jesus, I’m an asshole, just
like my old man. The only comfort I have is that Madison doesn’t
expect more from me.
    But I expect more from
me.
    Conversation flows around
me as my friends and my brother fall into a familiar pattern of
sarcasm and low blows.
    “ Stop eating the money,
Parker.”
    “ It’s not money. It’s
sugary currency, therefore, fair game.”
    “ Hit me.”
    “ We’re not playing
Blackjack, Wyatt.”
    “ Still a good idea
though.”
    “ I miss West. He always
brought Gummy Worms.”
    “ West doesn’t miss
you.”
    “ Please. I bet he’s crying
every night.”
    “ He’s found a new group of
guys to play in his dorm.”
    “ Bastard. Wait until he
comes home for Winter Break.”
    “ Remind me why the Reese’s
Pieces are worth more than—”
    “ Swear to God… Beau, alien
always trumps dude in purple suit.”
    One of my legs begins to
shake, a habit leftover from childhood, until the entire table is
moving with it. Reece’s Pieces, Smarties and Warheads
bounce.
    No one says anything, but I
feel compelled to say, “Sorry,” anyway. I calm my leg then search
my pockets. I pull out a pack of cigarettes and grab the first one,
lighting it. It might be against the law to smoke while the bar is
open, but once we’re closed for business-fuck it.
    With a smug grin, Wyatt
tosses two packs of Smarties and a handful of Reese’s into the
middle. “Call.”
    Oh hell, he’s already won.
I place my cards on the table. “I’m out.”
    Parker is next to
fold.
    “ Not me.” Beau tosses more
candy into the pot. “Raise you ten.”
    Wyatt’s mouth drops open.
“Seriously, you just can’t let me win?”
    Beau grunts. “What
for?”
    Throwing his cards on the
table, Wyatt rakes a hand through his hair. “War Card.”
    “ What the fuck is a War
Card?” I ask, taking a pull of my beer. I grind the cigarette into
the heel of my boot, then shove what’s left of it in an empty
bottle.
    “ I am not playing kids’
games,” Beau says, looking offended as hell.
    “ Seriously? We use candy
as money, bro,” Parker points out.
    “ Parker has a point,” I
grunt.
    Eyes narrowing, Beau tips
up his chin. “Of course he does.”
    My jaw clenches. “What’s
that supposed to mean?”
    “ It means that Beau has a
really hard time with one syllable words that aren’t tits and ass,”
Parker chimes in.
    Yeah, that’s helping
things. I start making little piles of my candy.
    “ Actually War Card means I
get my way because I survived a damn war,” Wyatt says, trying to
ease the tension.
    “ It means that your baby brother needs
to man up sometime and quit hiding behind your skirt,” Beau sneers.
Again, this is not one of my oldest friends talking. I know him.
Despite being cocky as hell, he’s actually a nice guy. Shoots his
mouth off a lot, but where it counts: he’s always had my back. Even
if he and Parker rub each other the wrong way.
    But Parker’s my brother.
Blood wins out every time.
    My hands begin to shake,
palms growing damp as my fingers curl into fists. Nothing happened
to tonight. No one looked at me or my brother sideways. No one hit
on the waitresses or gave them crap about their tabs. I had thought
spending a couple hours with Madison would have helped. But I was
wrong.
    I shove my chair back from
the table and stand, leaning down to get in Beau’s face. “Why don’t
you come outside and we can discuss my skirt. Or does Paisley have
your balls in her trophy case, right next to your dick?”
    Beau shoots to his feet,
bumping me with his shoulder. “Don’t push me, asshole.” He shakes
his head and walks