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wouldn't have listened." I looked up at Calder as I swiped my fingers beneath my eyes, seeing the wet eyeliner that now marred my fingertips. Calder looked at me strangely, an expression on his face I'd never seen before. Like he was thinking very hard about what to say next. I beat him to it. "I didn't know who else to call. You were the first person that came to mind."
    "I was on my way to surprise Anna anyways," he said quietly. "But I'm glad you came to me."
    I didn't like the way he spoke, his words exiting his mouth a little too quietly, like he was whispering me a secret. Calder had always been so loud and charming and had a way about his speech, but now he seemed confused, like he wasn't sure of his own words. I looked into his face and he seemed to be struggling, like me being upset was hurting him. I looked up at him with confusion. "What's wrong?"
    Calder blinked, like he just realized I was speaking to him, and without warning his lips crashed down forcefully onto mine.

VIII.
    I had already felt lightheaded enough without Calder kissing me, but once his lips pressed down upon mine I nearly fell backwards in a stupor. His arms around me middle back and waist kept me upright, my legs threatening to slither out from beneath me and leave me to land where I may. The kissing continued, first slow and questioning, like he was testing hot bathwater with his toes before completely delving in. I couldn't respond, I didn't know how. I just stood there and allowed him to kiss me. It was like I was in a trance, reliving everything that had happened in the past few days and wondering how I had gotten to this point. His kiss became more demanding, frustrated at my lack of response. His hand slid up my spine to the back of my neck, trying to press my head close to him in encouragement. "C'mon,Win, kiss me," He breathed against my lips.
    I couldn't even force myself to shut my eyes, and I watched him half-lidded as his hair fell in his face and he continued to try and force a reaction out of me. I couldn't handle it, and very gently I pressed my hand against his chest to push him back, the feeling of numbness finally exiting my mind and allowing me to remember my faculties. His eyes opened as he let go of me, dropping his hands from me as if he just realized that had the plague. His beautiful dark eyes, once friendly, now reminded me of those of a feral cat: Wild and confused and afraid. "Win, I'm sorry. I can't..."
    "You need to go, Calder." I found that my mouth could utter no other words. I wanted to be outraged, to throw things at him and express how betrayed he had made me feel, to tell him how he was the only guy I felt I could trust besides his own father and how he'd just destroyed it. My brain couldn't process, the words wouldn't form. I felt very fatigued suddenly, like I just wanted to curl up in bed and forget that an outside world existed. He looked hurt, like he wanted me to tell him to stay. Running a hand through his hair he nodded slightly.
    "Y-yeah. I'll go. See you later."
    The strength to uncurl myself from my couch eluded me for the rest of night after Calder left. I was still in my work clothes, tightness of my denim shorts cutting off the circulation through my thighs, but getting up and changing seemed completely fruitless. I was still in shock the next morning, images of Alex's charming grin as he so easily lied to me and Calder's confused look as he left floating sporadically through my brain and making me want to vomit. I couldn't believe that Calder had done what he had. My own brother (I knew he wasn't really my brother, but the betrayal seemed almost as bad) had kissed me when I was crying on him, looking for support. He tried to force me to kiss him back, even, and my stomach turned at the thought. There was a knock at my door, and I felt acid rise in my throat and burn my flesh.
    "Winnie! Open up, it's Anna! I need someone to run lines with me before this audition today!"
    I felt my chest heave. I