Read Like a Woman for Free Online Page A

you’re lucky, you can just take a quick left turn through the kitchen and head out the back door, careful to not let the screen door slam. There, you will be greeted by a wiggling muscle-bound Boxer mix named Bucky who will always be happy to see you.
    This will prove to be a very important thing, so make sure you become good friends with Bucky. And, soon you won’t even care that his long slips of gooey slobber sometimes shake loose and land on you when you pet him, because the thing about Bucky is that he will let you come inside his doghouse whenever you want. His body is soft and always warm and you can just come curl up with him if you need a place to hide or maybe to just take a little rest.
    If you don’t take the kitchen door exit, things become a bit trickier. You will go down the long hallway, past your mom and grandma’s rooms on the right and the bathroom on your left. None of these rooms will have a way out. At the end of the hall is your room and you will feel lucky to not have to share with your grandma anymore, but you will also be afraid. The best thing about your room is that there is a big aluminum sliding-glass window that opens out onto the alley between your house and the next door neighbor’s. This window will become your most common way in and out of the house.
    At night, from your bed you will listen for your mom’s car because you know it is your job to bring her home safe. You will picture her leaving the bar, laughing and arguing with her union friends, stumbling to the battered Chevy Impala, dumping her purse upside down in the El Chorito parking lot to find her keys. You will picture her getting on the Hollywood Freeway, bearing left onto the 101. “Don’t speed Mama,” you will tell her. “Stay in between the lines.” You will help her remember to signal for the exit, to slow down for the off ramp and come to a complete stop at the corner of Lankershim and Laurel Canyon where the cops like to hang out. At this point, you will relax a little because you know if she hits something she’ll be going pretty slow and she can probably just back it up and continue on towards home. When she pulls into the driveway, you will listen especially carefully. If she turns in sharp and brakes fast, you might as well just pack it up and head out the bedroom window right then and there, because you know it will be you who pays for whatever has pissed her off. But if she pulls in easy, doesn’t spin the gravel, and maybe just slow bumps the trash cans, you’re probably gonna be okay.
    Quickly, you will run through the list in your head. Did you clean up the kitchen good, put away the dishes, leave her a plate in the fridge in case she’s hungry? Did you clear away any junk that might be in the path from the front door to her bedroom? Is the Folgers measured just right in the tall silver coffee pot so all she has to do is turn it on when she wakes up and her morning coffee will be just the way she likes it? Is the dog locked out back? Did you leave the front door unlocked for your mom so she doesn’t have to mess with her keys? Is your grandma tucked in bed and did you remember to take her teeth out and clean them before you put them in the jar on her bed stand? Are the bills where your mom can’t see them until she’s sobered up? Did you remember to wash her red nightgown and lay it out on her bed?
    From your bed you will listen to hear if the front door slams or if it shuts slowly with the weight of her body as she leans back, exhausted. You will listen to hear if she stops at her bedroom or keeps coming down the hall. This will be a tricky moment because the bathroom is right before your bedroom, and if she needs help, you will need to be there. So, you will listen for the footsteps coming down the hall and if they are shuffling and you hear her bump the walls, then you will know she is headed for the bathroom, probably to puke. If so, you