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Socrates, but couldn’t bear his watching eyes. She’d woken
with David’s pillow gripped to her chest, her body flushed with arousal and the
echo of her husband’s touch. She’d flung the pillow away and stumbled free of
the blankets while Socrates watched with disapproval. She’d felt shame, as if
David’s dreamtime touch constituted a sin.
    She’d
lost her mind, an elderly dog the only witness.
    If
David were here, he’d worry about her night driving. Guilt made her grip the
wheel tighter, as if she were a teenager, her father glaring out the kitchen
window as he waited for her to come home from a date. As if she were still
Katie, filled with passion and carelessness.
    David
had tamed her.
    When
Coast Road joined the secondary highway to Madrona Bay, Kate turned away from
town and pushed down on the throttle. As the Subaru climbed away from the
ocean, the physical hangover from her half-remembered David dream eased,
replaced by memories.
    The
last time...
    She’d
bought a spring salmon from a Madrona Bay fisher the first Saturday in July,
served it with rice and asparagus spears. David, victorious after typing The
End on the first draft of  Madrona Legacy, caught her hand when she delivered
his plate, and tangled his fingers with hers.
    “You
look nice,” he’d said softly.
    Disoriented
by his return after months of single-minded focus on the book, she felt her
face flush, but wanted also to pull back. She wanted to be wooed ... dinner,
candles, foreplay.
    As
they ate, she relaxed from the solitude of life with a book-obsessed writer who
pretended to be a school principal by day. When he pushed his plate away, she
said, “I’ll do the dishes.”
    “Leave
them.”
    She
wanted to be wooed, slowly, but when he pulled her closer, she sank into his kiss.
She wanted talk, candlelight, time, but his hand brushed her breast and her
agenda slipped away ...
    ...
empty highway, rain-slicked pavement, black looming shadows. Colder ... colder ...
push the heater into the red. Tears on her face ...
    It’s
over. All gone.
    The
Subaru topped the rise on the last hill and Kate let the car float into the
small valley ahead. Time to go home. David’s house, David’s bed. Needy mother,
distant daughter, unhappy clients.
    Floating
... if she could float away ... escape Evelyn and Jennifer and Socrates ... escape
David’s empty house ... if she could let it all go, close her eyes and...
    Close
her eyes.
    Jesus,
Kate! Open your eyes!
    Trees
whipped by and she was ... floating. The road. Drifting. The car refused to
respond to her pressure on the wheel.
    Ice.
Black ice. Car cocked off-true, skimming over the road. Big tree ahead speeding
towards her. Other trees flying past  ... road ... wheels ... control.
    Don’t
touch the brakes. Steer. Jesus, Kate! Steer!
    The
Subaru glides over the road, no friction, no response to hands on the wheel.
Someone’s hands, they don’t feel like hers. Silence floats, and she wonders if
the crash itself will be silent.
    Massive
old oak tree, filling her world, everything silent. Is this how it ends?
    ...let
go ... stop worrying ... stop trying.
    I’m
going to die.
    David?
    The
tree ... the car ... die smashed against the tree. Will David come?
    I
drove too fast, closed my eyes on life because I don’t care.
    Not
yet, please ...God, get me out of this.
    Sound
... lost ... car flung ... tree, can’t see the tree.
    A
scream tears at the car’s belly, whips the world like a tilt-a-whirl in the
circus. I’m yanked back, head flung against the headrest.
    Silence.
    Heart
pounding. The sound ... harsh gasps of breath tear her throat and ears.
    Where’s
the tree?
    She
stares at blackness. The tree ... maybe four feet away to her left. Telephone
pole against the right side of the car. Subaru parked between, nose faced out,
as if ...
    She’s
alive, for no reason.
    All
those sounds underneath, she’d flipped in a tight circle, ripped over rough
ground. Now silence, as if she’d parked here