Read Lifeboat for Free Online Page B

become.’
    â€˜What do you mean?’ she asked, pulling a face. ‘That is puerile philosophy.’
    He brushed his forehead with his two longest fingers, tracing a line across his face, then opened both hands towards her, palms upward.
    â€˜Think of it this way: everyone dreams, daydreams if you like, of the future and how they would like it to be. The lucky ones achieve it.’
    â€˜I did not dream this,’ she said, gesturing to the room around her. ‘What fool would?’
    â€˜Then maybe you dreamt to forget who you are?’ he replied. ‘Many people would do that if they could.’
    â€˜Yes, if the person was a criminal; or insane.’
    He took her sarcasm quite seriously.
    â€˜Perhaps,’ he said. ‘But it doesn’t have to be that dramatic. Maybe such people are just unhappy. Think of your dream – it didn’t sound happy to me.’
    â€˜Or maybe they’re just fools,’ she said, gesturing at him as if trying to cut the air between them.
    â€˜Anyone who says they have never been a fool is a liar,’ he said, mocking her.
    â€˜I do not know you.’
    She turned her back to him.
    â€˜I do not know me either.’
    â€˜So you could be a murderer,’ she said, unable to let him have the last word.
    â€˜I could be.’
    Her face twitching with fury, she turned on me again.
    â€˜You are sitting here with a murderer. Aren’t you scared?’
    I didn’t answer.
    â€˜Is that why he is locked in at night? Is it?’
    â€˜Your door was locked too – maybe the murderer is you?’ he said.
    â€˜If I knew you, I would kill you,’ she hissed.
    â€˜With what, little woman? Your tongue?’
    â€˜You are a lunatic,’ she said. Then she glared at me. ‘I refuse to be questioned alongside this madman.’
    â€˜Please stay calm, madam. I really think you are upsetting yourself over nothing,’ said he, laughing.
    Her two hands made fists of themselves in front of her closed eyes. ‘No. I am upset because I am nothing, I am no one. Who am I? Where do I come from? To whom do I belong? You are right,’ she said, and I could see tears in her eyes as she opened them wide. ‘I could be a murderer; or a madwoman.’
    She sobbed, like glass breaking. He looked ashamed and put out a tentative hand to pat her; it spread across her entire shoulder blade.
    â€˜I’m sure you’re not,’ I said softly, wanting to comfort her.
    â€˜You are sure of nothing,’ she whispered, looking at me through her tears, wiping her eyes defiantly.
    â€˜I’m sure I can help you. I’m sure that we’ll sort this out,’ I replied. ‘That’s what I’m here for. That’s a good start.’
    â€˜When all I have is dreams?’
    â€˜Then we will start with dreams.’
    She looked down at her feet. He sat quietly, no longer laughing, his hands still in his lap. Eventually she turned to him.
    â€˜Please accept my apologies, sir – I do not think you are a murderer.’
    As she wiped her eyes she looked old and tired. This is not right, I thought. At her age, after surviving this world she should be at home surrounded by her family enjoying the end of her days in comfort. Maybe she had been.
    â€˜So tell me your dream,’ I said.
    I picked up my pen and held it poised over the empty pages of their file.
    She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before she spoke. ‘I am in hospital – or I think it is a hospital. Women, dressed in black, surround me – they flap about me like crows. I am naked and my body hurts all over with a life-questioning pain. Even in my dreams I feel it, coming in waves like landslides. I moan, cry out loud, curse these women and the pain, but no one pays me any attention. There are bright flashes in front of my eyes and the ground shakes.
    â€˜I think the women are letting off fireworks so I scream at them to stop,