sigh—regret? Sadness. Loss.
“I just knew. She just touched me. In ways that no one else ever had. And I knew. And I never looked back.”
Jessie sighed. She thought that. But she had thought that before.
“She’s different.”
“How so?”
That was the problem, Jessie mused. She didn’t know.
“How’s she feel about you being a cop?”
“She doesn’t know.” Jessie threw the chewed leaf away. “I haven’t told her.”
“Why not?”
Jessie leaned her head back against the post, looked up at the night sky. Stars were coming out. “Oh, Dad, you know sometimes that uniform is a chick magnet. I wanted to be sure it was me, not the uniform.”
Matt chuckled. “And I thought dykes were different.”
Jessie shook her head and then realized her dad couldn’t see her. “Not so much. Some are attracted to authority, those power dynamics, want to be protected just as much as straight women. Or to challenge you.” Jessie thought she had seen all the types.
“I would think,” Matt said slowly, “that you being a cop would be difficult to keep secret.”
Jessie blew out a breath. “She’s not local. And we haven’t exactly been out in public.”
“Ohhh.”
There was a long silence and Jessie wondered how he would take that information. Her not coming home had always been ignored, well, not ignored. She had her cell phone, she’d text a message. Sometimes he even pretended she had been out early when she came in. Sometimes he assumed she had gotten called out and she didn’t correct him.
“What do you know about her?”
That was the crux of the matter, Jessie thought. “Damn near nothing.” Her dad said nothing and Jessie didn’t have to hear him say anything to know the arguments. She had made herself vulnerable. She had gone with someone she didn’t know, she didn’t know Diana’s history, her connections, where she lived, what she did for a living. Nothing. His next question truly surprised her.
“Is she good to you?”
Good? What a question from your daddy. She thought about it. Well, aside from the sex, Diana was good. Diana talked to her like she had a brain. Even though Diana had traveled, she didn’t treat Jessie like some country hick. She could carry on an intelligent conversation and assumed Jessie had opinions and could defend them. She definitely had her own opinions and could also defend them, but that hadn’t stopped her from listening to Jessie’s opinion. “Yes,” she finally answered.
Except for not telling me anything about herself.
“How does she feel about cops?”
“I don’t know. Hasn’t exactly come up.”
“How’s she feel about authority?”
“Doesn’t seem to have any more gripes than the general population.”
“Check her out?”
“As much as I could; couldn’t even find a traffic ticket.”
“Drugs?”
“Haven’t seen any evidence.”
“Track marks can be hidden.”
“Trust me, Pops. I’ve seen everything.”
“Oh.” There was another silence. “What’s your gut say?”
“No warning signals, nothing except nice.” She smiled in the darkness ruefully. Nice, indeed.
She heard her dad start to say something, stop. Finally he came out with it. “What’s the problem?”
How to explain? Jessie hesitated, not sure if she wanted to be this open with her dad. She had come this far, might as well. “We met at the bar, everything really clicked. I spent the weekend with her. This was three months ago.”
“Uh-huh.” He was uncomfortable, Jessie could tell. She decided to leave the details out.
“We had a good time. That seemed to be it. She left town, on her way.”
“Was that wise? Going with someone you didn’t know.”
Daddy-role just kicked in, Jessie thought. “Probably not,” she admitted.
Wasn’t the first time, Pops. Probably won’t be the last.
“I thought that was the end of it. She came back through town Mother’s Day weekend. She came back to see me.”
“Why?”
Jessie turned her head,