Read Lemons 02 A Touch of Danger for Free Online Page B

with monitoring my language, apparently.
    “I assure you Mr. Lemons; we are not a Mayberry operation! We are very professional here! Mr. Jackson is a celebrity though, even if he did kill someone he would just be acquitted.”
    “He would just be acquitted?! Did you seriously just say that to me?”
    “You know what I mean, Mr. Lemons. America loves a celebrity. Like you said, they let OJ walk.”
    “Yeah. They did. I still blame him for giving Kim Kardashian any sort of fame, too. He should fry for that, alone.”
    Elise interrupted. “Why do you blame OJ for Kim Kardashain?”
    “Because, Elise, her dad, that jackass Robert Kardashian, was OJ’s lawyer. Without OJ, Robert would have never gotten famous thus resulting in no one giving a flying crap about fatass Kim or her fatass, ugly ass sisters.”
    “Oh stop,” Elise said. “Kim Kardashian is so pretty.”
    “Please, Elise. She looks like spread-open butt-cheeks. And for that, I blame OJ. And I blame Robert for starting the Kardashian family tradition of getting rich black men off.”
    “Yikes.”
    The captain interrupted. He was through listening to me rant, apparently. “Mr. Lemons! Please! I have had just about enough from you this morning…”
    “You see what I did there,” I say, as the captain was still talking. I was kinda sorta talking over him. It was like an unruly classroom. For some reason, I felt the need to explain my previous joke out of fear that they didn’t get it.
    “I do not care what you think you saw at this point…”
    “…You see, I said he started the tradition of getting rich black me off…”
    “…Truth is, you are wearing on my nerves quite heavily and…”
    “…Because the ugly Kardashian girls like the big, rich black dudes…”
    “…I am going to ask you to leave…”
    “Like Ray J…and bah-it-baw playas…”
    “Mr. Lemons! Are you listening to me?!”
    “No, I’m not.”
    “Then this is futilue. So why don’t you just go home and get some rest?”
    Truth was, I was listening, of course. And as I listened I kept getting more and more pissed off. I was trying to avoid it all together by talking over him and trying my best to ignore him, but it didn’t work. I was pissed. This guy was an idiot and showing me no respect, so why should I show him any?
    “I’m sick of this. It’s time to go now, Mr. Lemons.”
    I was losing it. I come in to report a murder and the police captain is sick of ME. This is bullshit. My pulse started racing and I felt sweat forming above my brow. I clenched my hands into tight fists and brought them both up to the sides of my head, covering my ears. My plan didn’t work. It was meltdown time. I felt Elise’s hand on my shoulder. She said something but I couldn’t make it out. My eyes were shut as tight as they could be and I began hitting my ears out of pure frustration. Just like a child.
    I started to hear Captain Gibson say something. I think he was asking what the hell I was doing. I didn’t hear Elise respond. My ears started hurting, badly, and I stopped, eyes still shut, fists still balled.
    “Why are you throwing a tantrum, Mr. Lemons?!” The captain says to me. I ignore him and he continues talking, I assume, to Elise, “What does this mean?”
    “This means,” Elise says, “that Archie and I are going to solve this fucking case, and when we do, we are going to go out of our way to embarrass the fuck out of you and your po-dunk, bullshit excuse of a police force! Come on guys, let’s go!”
    I turned and saw Elise stand up. The captain looked like a deer caught in headlights and both kids’ mouths were wide open as they gazed up at their mother.
    I was in shock. In all my years of knowing Elise I had only heard her utter the very slightest of obscenities on very rare occasions, but nothing even close to the dreaded F Word. I stared at her in silence. I was so proud.
    9.
    We left the room promptly after Elise’s ridiculously awesome outburst and she even