same form.’
Angharad gave me a reproachful look. ‘I think it would be amazing to be a prefect.’
‘It would look good on university applications,’ Megs said.
Lily nodded. ‘And you get that cool badge.’
‘Oh come on, prefects are not the coolest people, or the nicest. And some of their methods are questionable. What about that PTA barbeque they had last year? Corinne Taylor got those cheeky Year Sevens to behave by vomiting on them.’
‘I’m not sure she planned that,’ Lily said. ‘I think it was more to do with the fact the prefects were running the ice-cream stall and she’d been helping herself to free samples.’
That got my attention. ‘Free samples?’
‘Yep. And that’s just one of the advantages to being a prefect,’ Megs said, ‘You also get actual permission to go into town at lunchtime.’
Angharad’s big hopeful eyes were fixed on me; this was clearly something she wanted us all to do together.
‘And they’ve got their own common room. I heard there’s a toaster in there,’ said Lily.
That did it. Ice cream and toast are precisely what I’m looking for in a remunerative package. I gave a decisive nod. ‘As you know I have always been a keen upholder of the school charter. Angharad! Fetch us some forms!’
That was pretty much the extent of my decision making, but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. After all, I have a lot to offer.
I pointed this out to the girls when Ang came rushing back with what looked like an unnecessary large amount of paperwork.
‘What exactly have you got to offer?’ Lily asked.
I waved my hands about to indicate piles and piles of good stuff. ‘Loads. It’s like when they employ ex-criminals to help catch burglars. I know every way to break the rules in this school; I could give the teachers invaluable advice.’
‘Isn’t that going to spoil other people’s fun?’ Megs asked.
‘I didn’t say I was actually going to give them the advice – but they don’t need to know that until I’m elected by a landslide.’
Megs shook her head. ‘Prefects don’t get elected.’
‘Don’t they? What is this, some kind of totalitarian state?’ I remembered where I was. ‘Don’t even bother to answer that.’
‘You have to apply,’ Angharad said. ‘That’s what the form is for. Then you get invited for an interview. Imagine if they chose you to be head girl!’
This was all news to me.
Megs poked me. ‘It amazes me how little you know about this school; you’ve been coming here for nearly four years.’
‘Yeah, but it’s a bit like when you have to use those stinky loos in car parks; you just keep your eyes straight ahead and try not to let any of the filth rub off on you.’
They looked at me blankly. Even more blankly than usual.
‘Or when you’re forced to go to a DIY shop with your parents. You keep your eyes straight ahead and try to let as little boringness rub off on you as possible by humming something cheerful.’
Megs’s eyebrows had knitted in an unattractive fashion. ‘Do you honestly hum for entire school days?
I shrugged.
‘Me too,’ Lily said.
‘Anyway,’ said Megs. ‘Back in the real world where there are rules and things. If you want to be a prefect you have to apply like Ang said. And if your application gets approved by your Head of Year then you have to do an interview with a selection committee.’
I groaned. ‘I want to be a prefect, I don’t want to adopt a baby.’
I leafed through one of the forms. It was three pages long.
‘It would be easier to buy a gun,’ I said.
‘Prefects have more power than guns in this school,’ Megs said.
It’s certainly true that you wouldn’t want Corrine Taylor firing all she’s got at you.
SATURDAY 5TH MAY
We went bowling with the boys today. I was kind of apprehensive about seeing Westy because I still feel terrible about turning him down. But he never showed up.
When I arrived, Ethan was sat in the corner scowling into a