before they get nasty.”
“Nasty? I thought your cows were pretty docile?”
“How would you feel with a hundred-pound calf in your stomach kicking and wanting to come out?”
“Point taken.”
Walt grabbed a stool that hung by the gate. He went up to the nearest cow and placed his hand on her back, just like the others in the barn. He nudged the stool near the cow and sat down, his hands never leaving her side. He pressed in slightly, feeling the rounded bulge of her stomach. He motioned for Kyle to come to him, taking Kyle’s hand.
“Feel, right here. Feel that? That’s the calf’s head.”
Kyle’s eyes grew wide. He could feel a hard lump, then it moved. He jumped back, causing the cow to jump forward.
“Easy, easy, both of you.” Walt put his hand back on the cow and rubbed gentle circles. Kyle stood away from them, frozen, afraid to move. “It’s okay, Kyle. Sorry it surprised you. But please try to not startle her if you can, okay?”
Kyle nodded, still afraid to move.
“Come on back over here. Just walk with purpose, head up. Show her you’re not a threat.” Kyle got within a couple of feet of the cow, just behind Walt. “Now, place your hand on her again.” The cow didn’t move, just swished her tail and chewed. “That’s good.” Walt again nudged the stool next to the cow and sat down. “Bring me one of the buckets; when you get close enough, put your hand back on her and place the bucket underneath her udder.”
Kyle did what Walt asked, wary of the other cows in the small lot. They all seemed to ignore him. It was one thing to herd one cow at a time in and out of a stall; it was quite another to be out in the open with five of them.
“Watch me; this isn’t yanking on the teats. You have to roll down, make the milk flow from top to bottom. If you want, put your cheek against her side and don’t look, just feel. Sometimes that works out better. You might even feel the calf move again.”
“That… that was a little freaky.”
“You’ve never felt a baby move in a woman?”
“No. I don’t have any brothers or sisters and my only good friend is Billy. He’s the youngest of three boys.”
“And no one you’ve ever been around has been pregnant? Have they finally gotten the contraception message in high schools?”
Kyle gave a nervous smile and looked at the ground. “No, there were pregnant girls in my high school. Just wasn’t friends enough with any of them to ask to do that.”
“Ah well, maybe its best you learn with the cows, then.” Walt finished with that cow and gave her a gentle push to show he was done. He went to the next cow and placed the stool next to her. “Your turn.”
“I… I… she’s huge.”
Walt unsuccessfully stifled a laugh. “That she is. But as long as you do what I say, she’s just going to stand there. Now sit down, place one hand on her.”
Kyle forced his feet to move. The first cow walked by him, and he hugged his arms in closer.
“Son, she won’t bite. I swear. She doesn’t have the teeth to rip your arm off. They’re all flat teeth. Here, look.” Walt rubbed the cow’s nose for a moment, then gently pried her mouth open. Kyle saw the massive tongue and slurry of grass and, as he said, flat teeth. “Now, don’t get me wrong, you stick your hand in there, and she’ll bite down, but sure as anything she’ll open right back up. You don’t taste like grass.” Walt let the cow’s mouth go and sidled back next to her. “Come on, try this. I’m not going anywhere.”
Kyle slowly sat down on the stool. He placed his hands on the cow’s teats, Walt’s big hands over his.
“Feel what I’m doing. Squeeze from the top down.” Walt applied pressure to Kyle’s hands. After a few tries, Walt let go, and Kyle was amazed to see the milk stream into the bucket. “That’s it, you’ve got it.” Kyle kept at it for a few minutes.
“Okay, that’s good. On to the next one.”
They finished with the five most-expectant