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dynamite.”
    “Awkward for me, but thanks for spoiling my appetite.”
    A glint of calculation ignited in Herb’s eyes. “So when are we gonna meet this ‘young lady’ of yours?”
    “Soon,” I said, relieved that I wouldn’t have to excise him from the spacetime continuum. “I gotta get back to work. Inventory today.”
    “Hmmm, yes. Interesting concept: inventory.”
    I reached over and grabbed for the money. Herb yanked his hand back.
    “Lando, you know if there’s ever anything you need to get off your chest, you can always come to me, right?”
    “I know.”
    “I’m much more open than your mother. God knows how we ever produced four healthy sons...”
    “Pop, please.”
    “Sorry. It’s just, living like we do… well things with Mom and Dad aren’t as rosy as they seem.”
    “Rosy’s not the word that springs to mind.”
    Herb smiled. But a flicker of sadness glimmered in his eyes.
    “True, son. Very true.”
    He extended the handful of bills toward me again. I reached for it, and he jerked his hand back once more as if he’d just snatched it out of a furnace.
    “How about you mow the lawn Saturday morning?”
    “Pop...”
    “Come on now. I pay you for working here to show you the value of a buck, not to take the honeys out for a tour of Boy’s Town.”
    “On what you pay me, ‘Boy’s Town’ would have to be the size of a postage stamp.”
    “Hey, any time free room and board get too rough for your delicate sensibilities…”
    “Alright… I’ll mow the lawn.”
    “Front and back?”
    “Yes!”
    “And clean the mower blades?”
    “I could strangle you.”
    “Excellent. Nothing in life sweeter than a ‘twofer’, son. That’s…”
    “I know: ‘Twice the goods and/or services for half the price’.”
    “Damn right. Well? Get back to work.”
    I remembered my promise to intercede on Sauwk’s behalf.
    “Why an ostrich?”
    Herb shrugged. “The elephant was double booked.”
    “The ostrich won’t let you ride, Pop. He’s got arthritis.”
    “Really?”
    “Yup. Why not try letting Chick try to lasso it in the background while you riff in the foreground? That way you get to improvise, and the audience gets a twofer.”
    At the word “improvise” Herb’s face brightened. He was a frustrated actor who fancied himself a master of improvisation. If he hadn’t feared what he called “…an actor’s life, filled with uncertainty” he would have auditioned for Second City. That and his polite phobia of Jews kept him from pursuing a career in show business.
    “You’re right. Ostriches are funny without having to try.”
    “Alright.”
    “And Chick and I can riff till the cows come home. People love it when we riff. That’ll help him pull his panties out of his ass.”
    Herb picked up the office phone and dialed Flaunt’s extension. As I headed for the door to the Fortress of Gratitude, he called out to my retreating back.
    “Have fun with Susanna, son. Loosen up a little.”
    “OK, Pop.”
    “And get a haircut. You look like a goddamn spear chucker.”
    I pocketed the money and hurried back to work.
     

CHAPTER IV
ARCHANGEL
    At noon, I took an early lunch and headed for Chicago Kutz, a barbershop I had avoided since returning home from Northwestern. But I’d decided to take Herb’s advice: the ’fro was getting a little unruly.
    Surabhi and I had been dating seriously for nearly two years. We’d met during a jazz appreciation concert series at Northwestern. The attraction was immediate, the chemistry undeniable. However, I was housebound, still at the mercy of my parents’ escalating war of words. The atmosphere at home was toxic to a burgeoning romance. And since Surabhi shared her small apartment with her younger sister, we had no safe place to go when we wanted to be alone.
    I had, of course, experimented with women on the road. A sexual darkhorse, I lost my virginity when I was twenty years old. But my less than imposing stature and sub-standard physique