what Jax told me, or rather warned me, was that she’s never dated. This will be her first everything. He told me if my intentions weren’t honorable he’d come after me, he knows where I sleep.
I reassured him that I’m not looking to score and walk away. I’m not interested in just sleeping with her and turning my back on her. I told him my heart is healing, but she’s the one healing it. I need her around. She may not know it, but she’s helping me get through this hell I’ve been in. And when she’s around the gloom in my life disappears. She adds sunlight and happiness. I’m not a man to take and take, she’s given me a lot and now I’m ready to give back to her. She deserves all the happiness in the world, I’m going to show her what its like to have a man give her everything she needs and wants. I’m willing to let her set the pace, I’m not going to force her into anything she’s not ready for. If she wants to wait till marriage to give her body away I will respect her, and hope that one day I will be that man.
“As long as you don’t break her heart, I’m okay with it. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long ass time. She needs that extra spark that only a man can give a woman. She’s seen it in Jessa and I’ve talked to her about it.”
“When you met Jessa, did you feel anything, like from the start, or did it gradually progress over time?”
“The second I laid eyes on her, it was a connection unlike any other. I still get these chills when she looks at me.”
“When Addie and I met, I was with Cam as you know. And we hated each other. I know I took something away from her, I didn’t do it to knowingly to hurt her. And now when I look at her, she’s all I see. Everything and everyone is nonexistent.”
“Then I’d have to say you have it bad. And that your life is just beginning. You’re meant to be together, but take things slow, I’m glad that she’s finally found someone willing to see beyond her demons.
Huh. She has troubles? I would have never guessed. She’s always so confident, yet she is shy. And reserves her problems to herself. I wonder what it is that she keeps bottled inside.
“That first time I met her, my first thought was she’s hot tempered with an ugly attitude. I couldn’t understand her hate. Now that I know who she is and why she’s Addie, I literally cannot move away from her. It scares me that I’m falling so hard so fast, but there’s this underlining feeling deep inside me, that’s begging for her. It’s a yearning that I’ve never experienced before. When she’s near, I feel this electric spark, it’s a wild and crazy zing coursing through my veins. My body only knows her, it only wants her, needs her. It scares me to think that I will never be the same if she were to turn her back on me. I survived Cam leaving, but I wont survive Addie. “
She’s a life raft. I didn’t know I needed until I was sinking faster than I could swim. My house. Well I would only call it dwelling place, a shell, before Addie stepped in to help me. It’s now headed towards a wholesome home. The only part I see missing now is her.
Because of my shit hole, I’ve been hanging out at Jax’s house more and more when I know he will be home. Nothing comes to furniture and clean running water, I don’t have those amenities at my place and hanging out there couldn’t ever work. At least not until its complete.
"Let's finish this match between the Cowboys and Packers. Your team is going down." I tell Jax.
"Your cowgirls aren’t looking so hot, not with that defensive line up. I'm going to pound your offense."
"Not with Clay Matthews, isn’t he still on the injured list." I get defensive about my favorite team and my favorite players.
"Rub it in why don’t you. I have still Rogers, the best QB in the NFL. I'm not worried."
"Hey guys, in ten minutes I need you to check on the twins. I