party thereâtaking place today.
My mother freshened her coffee and came to sit with me.
âWhy donât you just go on up there?â she said. âIâll check in on Nick. Thereâs no need for both of us. I know youâyou wonât be able to sleep. Youâll just prowl around, fretting. Take a nice drive and relax.â
She was right againâlike most mothers with their children, she usually was. My being gone for a few hours wouldnât make any difference with Nick, my worries about her had backed off, and it would be a relief to get the thing taken care of instead of having it hang over me.
It would also give me a chance to chew Paulâs ass about not returning Momâs calls.
âLet me think it over,â I said. âIâll check in with you around noon, and if Nickâs still doing okay, maybe I will.â
âFine.â Then she put her hand on my wrist. âTom, can you explain whatâs going on with him?â
Iâd been thinking about how to handle this. When Iâd first called her earlier, Iâd given her an edited version of the story, trying to tone down the immediate shock factor. But she knew the kind of life Nick was livingâthe problems heâd caused me were nothing compared to her years of heartacheâand with Drabyakâs hint that there might be deeper trouble in the background, she needed to be on the alert.
âItâs pretty much like I told you, Mom, but there are a couple more things you should know,â I said.
She sighed. âI was sure there would be. Itâs such a lose-lose.â
I glanced around for Hap; he was off the phone by now, and I wanted him in on this. Hap was clearheaded, shrewd, and essentially one of the familyâa lifelong friend of my parentsâ, like an uncle to us kids, and now becoming a sort of surrogate husband to Audrey.
But it wasnât going to blossom into actual romance, since Hap was gay. He kept that part of his life entirely private, and not many people even knew it; on the contrary, women had always drooled over him because of his leonine good looks and broad-shouldered physique. Heâd been a terrific swimmer at USC, with a handful of NCAA medals and an Olympic silver for the butterfly leg of the 400-meter medley relay. It was Hap whoâd gotten Nick and me into competitive swimming; heâd started coaching us practically as soon as we could walk.
âHap, why donât you come on over?â I said. âYou should hear this, too.â
For a second, I was struck by an odd sense of furtiveness in him, almost like heâd been eavesdropping. He was standing at the sideboard with his back turned, but he didnât seem to be doing anything there, and his body jerked slightly when I spoke his name. But that notion was flat-out silly, a product of how wired I wasâheâd just been caught up in his own thoughts, and Iâd startled him.
âBe right there. Iâm looking for my cup,â he said. âAh, what the hell, Iâll grab a new one.â
But his behavior still seemed odd. When he came to join us, he paced restlessly instead of sitting, and he seemed to avoid eye contact. Of course he was concerned about the situation, but this didnât fit Hap. He usually kept up a calm, genial front that was close to unshakable, and he was guarded about showing deeper emotions, maybe because of his closet life.
Then an explanation occurred to meâhe was feeling the guilt that many people get when harm comes to someone they dislike, a sort of reverse schadenfreude. He and Nick were alienated, with a particularly bitter edge that dated back to when Nick and I were in our late teens and Hap was coaching us. Nick had real talentâheâd already far outstripped meâand even Olympic potential. Hap had thrown himself into nurturing it, hoping to relive his own glory days through his protégé.
But Nick pissed all