and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. My mother still hadnât come home, and I needed someone to talk to. The first person who came to mind was my ex-boyfriend, Ronnie. Even though I hadnât spoken to him in a while, I decided to call him hoping heâd be nice to me and listen to my problems. I gathered up some spare change and walked out of the apartment and onto the stoop. When I stepped out into the darkness I noticed that there were people just hanging out. Across the street, there was a group of kids I didnât know listening to music and dancing. To my right, there was a gathering of men sitting on makeshift crates drinking alcohol and talking loudly. To my left, I saw a woman wearing coochie cutter shorts, leaned over into the passenger window of a car talking with two men. Other men who were passing by her on the sidewalk stopped to ogle her behind. At that moment everything in my life seemed to be going wrong. Everyone around me seemed to be crazy, and they were making me crazy just by being around them. I calmed myself down as best as I could and walked up the street to the payphone. I called up Ronnie.
âYeah,â he said as he answered the phone.
âHey, Ronnie, itâs me, Keysha. What are you doing?â I asked.
âWhy?â he shot back at me.
âUmâ¦â I lost my nerve for a minute. âDo you really not love me anymore?â I donât know why I asked that question. I suppose in some sort of way I just wanted someone to care about me.
âYou know I donât,â he answered coldly.
âDo you want to come over? My mother isnât home. We could talk and stuff.â
âNaw, Iâm not even going to get down with you like that, Keysha. Itâs over. A baller like me has got to move on.â
âYou know what, Ronnie, I should comeâhello, hello?â Ronnie had hung up on me. I slammed the phone against its cradle and started crying. I let go of my tears for a minute before I got myself together and headed back home.
The following morning, I got up and headed to my first day of school completely unprepared. I walked through the halls dazed and spaced out because I had so much on my mind. I was worried about Toya and Junior and didnât know what to do. I was worried about my mother and how she was going to deal with the eviction notice. I was worried about school because, even though it wasnât socially acceptable to say I enjoyed school on any level other than to socialize, I actually really enjoyed my literature class.
I had no idea of how I was going to make it through school, and the person I depended on would most certainly leave me hanging, just as sheâd done so many times in the past.
I just entered my history class and took a seat at the back of the room. I was hoping the teacher, and everyone else, for that matter, wouldnât notice me. Once the roll call was completed, the course syllabus was handed out. Just as we were about to go over it, the principal and two police officers entered the class room.
âOh, shit,â I whispered loudly. Toya must have tricked on me, and now the police were there to arrest me. I wanted to run out of the room but I couldnât because there was only one way in and one way out. The principal began searching the room, and I scrunched down in my seat as far as I could without actually going up under my desk. I was doing the best that I could to hide in plain sight. The principal finally found the student the police were searching for and I was thankful that it wasnât me.
âDang, girl, you were trying to get up under the floor,â said Lynn Jones, who was one weird girl.
âYeah, whatever,â I said to her.
âWhat did you do that has you afraid of the police?â she wanted to know.
âNone of your damn business,â I snapped at her for being nosy.
âWell, forget you, too. The next time the police come into