Read Keeping Your Head After Losing Your Job for Free Online Page A

this affect how much you believe the thought about never getting a job? Do you believe it any less than before? Why or why not?
    EXERCISE: WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE A FRIEND WHO IS OUT OF WORK?
Write out your negative thoughts about being unemployed and your life right now and then list all the advice you would give a good friend who was thinking in this way. Are you more supportive to your friend than you are to yourself? Why or why not? Here’s an example of how to do this.
My negative thoughts
Advice I would give a friend
I failed
You didn’t fail. There are millions of people out of work through no fault of their own. It can happen to anyone. Look at all the good qualities that you have, all the things that you have done that are good. You are a good friend and a good family member. I still care for you and respect you.
    A lot of times we are much more objective, realistic and kind to a friend—or even a stranger. Are you being unnecessarily tough on yourself during this difficult time? If you were as supportive to yourself as you would be to a friend, how would your painful feelings change? Try “The Best Advice to a Friend” for the next few weeks and see how you feel.
    5: Observe your feelings without getting hijacked by them
    Sometimes you might start feeling anxious about not having a job and you get revved up, more and more anxious, and you even find yourself getting anxious about the fact that you are anxious. You are getting hijacked by your emotions. If this has happened to you—and it probably has—you are more and more afraid of what you feel. You might even try to suppress those feelings only to find that they keep coming back. And this makes you even more afraid of your feelings.
    When you are unemployed you are likely to have a lot of painful feelings. But you can develop a different way of experiencing them. One way that is helpful is the “mindful way.” Let’s take the example of being mindful of your breathing. When you are mindful of your breathing you are simply standing back, noticing your breathing and keeping your mind on the fact that your breath goes in and out. You are not judging your breathing, you are not controlling it—you are observing it. You are standing back, watching the moment come and go.
    By standing back and observing your breath without controlling or judging, you gain a distance from your thoughts, you learn that your breath—like your thoughts and feelings—can come and go. By practicing mindful breathing you will be able to observe your negative thoughts without getting hijacked by them. You can notice them, then let them go. Breath to breath, thought to thought—each is one moment that passes. Practicing mindfulness can help you address the root causes of your worry: your fear, your tension, your mistaken belief that you are in continual danger. It will help you to stay in the present, where anxiety does not exist. Anxiety is built on thoughts of what has happened in the past and fears or expectations about what will happen in the future. When we are anxious we have left the present moment to worry about a future that may or may not ever happen. By staying in the present you let go of that worry, let go of the future, and live your life in this moment. The same is true about your rumination and anxiety about the past. Let it go, let it stay in the past, and live in this moment now. Mindfulness will calm your mind and relax your body. If you keep at it, you may find the strength of your anxiety diminishing considerably.
    Try this exercise every day:
    EXERCISE: MINDFUL AWARENSS OF YOUR BREATH
1.Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. It doesn’t have to be cross-legged, it can be kneeling on a cushion or sitting in a chair. It’s helpful if your spine is erect. Close your eyes.
    2.Start by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice how it goes in and out, rises and falls. It does this by itself: you don’t have to “do” anything to make it happen.