coul d prov e t o pro t tha t h e was , i n fact , a n ordinar y human bein g an d no t som e alie n fro m anothe r planet...
I decide d t o d oa mor e thoroug h physica l an d menta l worku p o n him . I wa s particularl y intereste d in learnin g whethe r h e was , i n fact , abnormall y sensitiv e t o light , a s h e claime d t o be . I als o wante d t o have th e result s o f a n aptitud e tes t an d t o determin e th e exten t o f hi s genera l knowledge , particularl y i n the area s o f physic s an d astronomy . Th e mor e w e kne w abou t hi s background , th e easie r i t woul d b e t o find ou t wh o h e reall y was.
WHE N I wa s a senio r i n hig h schoo l ou r caree r counselo r advise d m e t o tak e th e on e cours e in physic s ou r schoo l offered .I quickly ' learne d tha tI ha d n o aptitud e fo r th e subject , thoug h th e experience di d serv e t o increas e m y respec t fo r anyon e wh o coul d maste r tha t esoteri c material , amon g the m my wife-to-be.
W e wer e next-doo r neighbor s fro m th e da y sh e wa s born , Kare n an d I , an d w e playe d togethe r all th e time . Ever y mornin gI woul d g o outsid e an d fin d he r i n th e yard , smilin g an d read y fo r anything . One o f th e fondes t memorie sI hav e i s o f ou r firs t da y i n school , o f sittin g behin d he r wher e I coul d smel l her hair , o f walkin g hom e wit h he r an d leave s burning . O f cours e w e weren' t reall y sweetheart s a t that
age-no t unti l w e wer e twelve , th e yea r m y fathe r died.
I t happene d i n th e middl e o f th e night . M y mothe r cam e an d go t m e u p becaus e sh e hoped , vainl y as i t turne d out , tha tI migh t b e abl e t o d o something . Whe nI ra n int o thei r bedroo mI foun d hi m lyin g o n his back , naked , sweating , hi s pajama s o n th e floo r besid e th e bed . H e wa s stil l breathing , bu t hi s fac e was ashen .I ha d spen t enoug h tim e i n hi s offic e an d o n hospita l round s t o suspec t wha t ha d happene d an d to recogniz e th e seriousnes s o f th e situation . I f h e ha d taugh t m e somethin g abou t closed-ches t massag e I migh t hav e bee n abl e t o hel p him , bu t thi s wa s befor e CP R wa s generall y know n an d ther e wa s nothin g I coul d d o excep t watc h hi m gas p hi s las t breat h an d expire . O f cours e I yelle d a t m y mothe r t o cal l an ambulance , bu t i t wa s fa r to o lat e b y th e tim e i t go t there . I n th e meantim eI studie d hi s bod y wit h horrible fascination , hi s grayin g hand s an d feet , hi s knobb y knees , hi s large , dar k genitalia . Mothe r cam e running bac k jus t a sI wa s coverin g hi m wit h th e sheet . Ther e wa s n o nee d t o tel l her . Sh e knew . Oh , sh e knew. Afterwards ,I foun d mysel f i n a stat e o f profoun d shoc k an d confusion . No t becaus e I love d him , but becaus eI didn't-ha d almos t wishe d hi m dead , i n fact , s o I wouldn' t hav e t o becom e a docto r lik e him.
Ironically , becaus e o f th e tremendou s 'sens e o f guil t I felt ,I vowe d t o g o int o medicin e anyway.
A t th e funeral , Karen , withou t anyon e sayin g anything , sa t besid e m e an d hel d m y hand . I t wa s as thoug h sh e understoo d perfectl y wha tI wa s goin g through .I squeeze