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coul d prov e t o pro t tha t h e was ,   i n fact ,   a n   ordinar y   human bein g an d no t som e alie n fro m anothe r planet...
    I decide d t o d oa mor e thoroug h physica l an d menta l   worku p   o n   him .   I   wa s   particularl y   intereste d   in learnin g whethe r h e was , i n fact , abnormall y sensitiv e t o light ,   a s   h e   claime d   t o   be .   I   als o   wante d   t o   have th e   result s   o f   a n   aptitud e   tes t   an d   t o   determin e   th e   exten t   o f   hi s   genera l   knowledge ,   particularl y   i n   the area s o f physic s an d astronomy . Th e mor e w e kne w abou t hi s background , th e easie r   i t   woul d   b e   t o   find ou t wh o h e reall y was.
    WHE N   I   wa s   a   senio r   i n   hig h   schoo l   ou r   caree r   counselo r   advise d   m e   t o   tak e   th e   on e   cours e   in physic s ou r schoo l offered .I quickly ' learne d tha tI ha d n o aptitud e fo r th e subject , thoug h th e   experience di d   serv e   t o   increas e   m y respec t   fo r   anyon e   wh o   coul d   maste r   tha t   esoteri c   material ,   amon g   the m   my wife-to-be.
    W e wer e next-doo r neighbor s   fro m   th e   da y   sh e   wa s   born ,   Kare n   an d   I ,   an d   w e   playe d   togethe r   all th e time .   Ever y mornin gI woul d g o outsid e an d fin d he r i n th e   yard ,   smilin g an d   read y   fo r   anything .   One o f th e fondes t memorie sI hav e i s   o f   ou r   firs t   da y   i n school ,   o f   sittin g   behin d   he r   wher e   I   coul d   smel l   her hair ,   o f   walkin g   hom e   wit h   he r   an d   leave s   burning .   O f   cours e   w e   weren' t   reall y   sweetheart s   a t   that
    age-no t unti l w e wer e twelve , th e yea r m y fathe r died.
    I t happene d i n th e middl e o f th e night . M y mothe r cam e an d go t m e   u p   becaus e   sh e   hoped ,   vainl y as i t turne d out , tha tI migh t b e abl e t o d o something . Whe nI ra n int o thei r bedroo mI foun d hi m lyin g o n   his back , naked , sweating , hi s pajama s o n   th e   floo r   besid e   th e   bed .   H e   wa s   stil l breathing ,   bu t   hi s   fac e   was ashen .I ha d spen t enoug h tim e i n hi s offic e an d o n hospita l round s t o   suspec t   wha t   ha d   happene d   an d   to recogniz e   th e   seriousnes s   o f   th e   situation .   I f   h e   ha d   taugh t   m e   somethin g   abou t   closed-ches t   massag e   I migh t hav e bee n abl e t o hel p him , bu t thi s wa s befor e CP R wa s generall y know n   an d   ther e   wa s   nothin g   I coul d   d o   excep t   watc h   hi m gas p   hi s   las t   breat h   an d   expire .   O f   cours e   I   yelle d   a t   m y   mothe r   t o   cal l   an ambulance , bu t i t wa s fa r to o lat e b y th e tim e i t go t there . I n th e meantim eI studie d hi s bod y wit h   horrible fascination , hi s grayin g hand s   an d   feet ,   hi s   knobb y   knees ,   hi s   large ,   dar k   genitalia .   Mothe r   cam e   running bac k jus t a sI wa s coverin g hi m wit h th e sheet . Ther e wa s n o nee d t o tel l her . Sh e knew . Oh , sh e knew. Afterwards ,I foun d mysel f i n a stat e o f profoun d shoc k an d confusion . No t becaus e   I   love d   him ,   but becaus eI didn't-ha d   almos t   wishe d   hi m dead ,   i n fact ,   s o   I   wouldn' t   hav e   t o   becom e   a   docto r   lik e   him.
    Ironically , becaus e o f th e tremendou s 'sens e o f guil t I felt ,I vowe d t o g o int o medicin e anyway.
    A t th e   funeral ,   Karen ,   withou t   anyon e   sayin g   anything ,   sa t   besid e   m e   an d   hel d   m y   hand .   I t   wa s   as thoug h sh e understoo d perfectl y wha tI wa s goin g through .I squeeze