she comes home, the bastard wins. And what will that do to her psyche? Chased away by a phantom. Know what, Rina? He is winning!”
“It’s wretched, but—”
Decker blurted out, “You ask me what I can do three thousand miles away? The sad truth is nothing. But if it makes me feel better reading some detective’s case notes, then indulge me!”
Abruptly, he threw the papers across the room and looked at Rina.
“Do you think I did wrong by telling her to stay?” Decker began to pace again. “As her father, I really want her home. But I don’t want her to leave because someone is chasing her away. I raised her to feel she was strong enough to conquer the world. Now this SOB…” He sank back in his chair and rubbed his face. “I think I’m going nuts !”
Slowly Rina got up and began assembling the papers. She set them in front of her husband, then placed a kettle of water on the stove. “Do the police have any ideas?”
“They think it’s someone on the inside because he knows the secluded areas of the campus. College ! Perfect breeding grounds for weirdos and perverts. You’ve got hyper-hormoned kids with poor judgment thrown together unsupervised. Bastard rapist. He knows they’re easy fodder.”
“Cindy’s twenty-one.”
“When she cries in my arms, she’s a kid. I can’t stand this. Screw it! I’m sending her a plane ticket tomorrow—”
“Peter, you did the right thing by telling her to stay. You can’t protect her forever.”
“So I’ll protect her as long as I can.”
“If the monster strikes again, then you and she can reevaluate. In the meantime, if she can stick it out until he’s caught…handling this situation will give her a sense of mastery. That this maniac didn’t scare her away. Believe me, I know what it’s like to live in fear.”
The kettle began to boil. Rina brought out two mugs and made tea. Decker was quiet, remembering how they’d met. Rina had been a witness to a rape, Decker had been the cop assigned to the crime. During the course of the investigation, they had found out that Rina had been the intended victim. Even with that knowledge, Rina had held firm, refused to be scared away by a madman’s perversions. In the end, she had come away the better for it.
But this was his daughter .
“So you think I did the right thing?” Decker asked.
Rina placed a cup of ginger tea in front of her husband. “I think so, yes. Drink.”
“Okay, you’re a smart person.” Decker sipped boiling tea. “I’ll trust you.”
“Thank you.”
“I trust you, you trust me. Isn’t that what this whole thing’s about?”
“You mean love?”
“Yeah, love and the whole nine yards.”
“The whole nine yards?”
“You know what I mean. Love, marriage, kids, dogs, mortgages, responsibility, life—”
“Poor Peter. You’re feeling so burdened.”
“I’m not feeling burdened, I am burdened.”
Rina took his hand. “You want to go out to New York again?”
Decker shook his head no. “What does that say to Cindy? That every time there’s a crisis, Daddy’ll come to rescue her? No, I’ve got to let her deal with it and just pray for the best.” He looked at the kitchen clock. “Is it too early to say Shacharit ?”
Rina thought a moment. There were entire sections of Talmud written about the permissible times to say the morning prayers. Rina looked at the kitchen clock. A little before three A.M.
“It’s never too early or too late to pray. And Peter, add your own private wishes at the beginning of Shemonah Esreh . Ask Hashem specifically to look after Cindy, to watch over her and keep her safe. Make your requests as detailed as you want.”
Decker smiled. “I can do that?”
Rina smiled back. “You can do that.”
Chapter 7
In the dead of night , I wrote letters to my grandparents, all the while growing even more aloof from my father and stepmother. Jean tried to cut through my secrecy with insipid stabs into my personal life. It became