because I would play my Patti Labelle CD and “ cat - walk ” from one side of our bedroom to the other .
Ray would lie on his bunk and play with himself until I tried on every pair , and then h e would lean me up against the wall , slide the panties to one side , h awk and spit right in the crack of my ass , and then stick his manhood up in me.
Now, I know you might think that’s gross , but trust me, I was getting my life!
Ray and I had fucked so much , I didn’t need any Vaseline or much lube at all. Once he would get it in, my ass would start to moist all on its own. Goo d pussy does make its own juice , children.
Unfortunately, there was a downside .
Ray would feel so guilty after we had sex , he would start to yell at me and say things like, “Get away from me , ” or “Why you make me do that?”
Chile , b oo . L ike it was my fault . Y e ah , right.
Then h e would go over to his hoochie girlfriend Jasmine’s house and try to get with her , so he could still feel like a man. And when she di dn’t give him any, he would come home and wake me up in the middle of the night , a sk ing if I wanted some more dick.
Of course , I always did. I would never turn Ray down . I loved him because he was my brother, and I loved him because , in my mind, he was my man as well.
Chapter 5
Ray was going to be graduating from high school within the next few weeks . I wanted to buy him something really special . I didn’t know what , but I knew what it would be once I saw it. The problem was, I didn’t work, and my mother couldn’t afford to give us an allowance . S o , I started going to the store for people in the neighborhood. I was going to be a t eenager in a few more weeks as well , so I was old enough and responsible enough to get what people needed from the store. Hell, aside from that, I was sexually active.
This one day , I went to the store for this lady name d Ms. Trace y , who live d across the street from where I lived . She was about twenty-five years old .
When I came back from the store with her groceries, she looked me up and down and said , “Boy, you look good enough to eat. ”
Now, t o tell you the truth, she scared the shit out of me. I thought she was one of those people who ate people . I know, I know, being as grown as I thought I was, you would think I would have known what the h o meant, but I didn’t.
I raced home to tell M other exactly what she ’d said to me . “M other ! ” I yelled , running through the door.
“Boy , why you doing all that yelling?”
“ Ms. Trac e y said I looked good enough to eat. ” I tried to catch my breath. “ Does that mean she eats people ? ”
“No , it doesn’t , Cameron .” Mother laughed. “J ust don’t go in her house when no one else is there . ”
Anyway , it still didn’t make sense to me . I didn’t understand why my mother laughed. I went to my room hoping Ray would be in there listening to his rap music and I could ask him , but he wasn’t there.
My little sister barged in my room without knocking. “Cameron, you wanna play house?”
“No, I don’t wanna play no house. Get outta my room , Ms. Thang . ” I thr ew one of my pillows at her.
“Ouch ! Y ou hit me in my eye. I’m gonna go tell Mommy . ” S he began to cry , holding her hand up to her eye and running out of my room.
“Good.”
To be honest, I did feel a little bad because I hadn’t played house with my baby sister in a while. I guess that’s because I’ d grown up , and putting on a dress and playing the mother no longer interest ed me, especially now that I knew what dick felt like .
As I lay across my bunk thinking, I remember Ray said that he had a surprise for me on my thirteenth birthday. I couldn’t wait for my birthday to come in a couple of days . You would think this was a sick situation for an older brother and a younger brother to be doing the nasty , but I d id n’t blame Ray for any of it. If anyone was to blame, it w as me.