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to Florida to be closer to my grandchildren?”
    Hayes shrugs. “You’re not horrible at your job so
far. Too mouthy, but most women are.”
    “So you’ll miss me then?”
    “You have your skills.”
    “Can you be more specific about my qualities? I’m
feeling insecure.”
    Hayes rolls his eyes, but I catch him smile. “I’ve
been thinking.”
    “I’m sure you have. A big businessman like you
probably thinks all the time.”
    “I’ve been thinking about having an heir.”
    “An air?”
    “An heir like a kid that’d inherit my business.”
    “Oh. Yeah, you wouldn’t want it to end up in the
hands of the government.”
    “I’d rather burn everything down than have that
happen.”
    Grinning at his reaction, I nod. “I’m sure you’d
make a great dad.”
    “You don’t really believe that.”
    “No, but you’re smart. You might learn how to be a
great dad by the time the kid is old enough to notice.”
    “You’re healthy, right?”
    “Healthy like I eat salads?”
    “No, like you’re capable of creating and carrying a
baby.”
    “Sure,” I mumble, unsure where he’s going with this
line of questions.
    “You didn’t break anything having those twins?”
    “You mean my beloved children? No, I didn’t break
anything. What are you getting at?”
    “I’ll need to breed with a woman capable of
carrying my large kid. You carried two at once so I figure you’ll do.”
    “Well, that’s a tempting offer. Whenever you’re
ready, just fill a cup with your swimmers, and I’ll pick up a turkey baster on
my drive home. We’ll make you an heir.”
    “There are easier ways to make a kid.”
    “Easier?” I say, looking him over. “I’d say a
turkey baster is simpler than climbing you, boss.”
    “No climbing necessary,” he says, and I realize he
might actually be serious. “You lay on the bed, and I’ll do the work. I’ve
heard women make boys if they get fucked in the missionary position.”
    “You heard that, huh? Where?”
    “Donna was telling some broad at the Waffle House.”
    “Well if Donna said so, I can’t really disagree.
She’s the Google of diner waitresses.”
    I snicker at my joke while Hayes just watches me.
    “I’m not kidding.”
    “I sense that,” I say, feeling a little overheated.
“What would you name our giant baby? It wouldn’t be something stupid like
Angus, would it?”
    “Said the lady with the stripper name.”
    “I didn’t pick my name.”
    “You picked your kids’ stupid names.”
    “No, their father did, and he only picked them to
punish me.”
    “Punish you for what?”
    “For not having an abortion. He didn’t want kids.
He nagged me constantly until I was ready to pop. When I wouldn’t give into his
whiny bullshit, he chose the names,” I explain with a hint of anger and then
add more casually, “The joke was on him because my kids are cool enough to walk
off silly names. I’m not sure our giant baby would be, though.”
    “My kid won’t give a shit what anyone thinks.”
    “Or he’ll be very sensitive and cry easily. You
never know.”
    “I know,” Hayes insists.
    “So you’re saying you’d name him something dumb
like the dad in the song A Boy Named Sue ?”
    “I’d name him something strong.”
    “Like Bullet?” I ask, snickering again. “Shotgun
maybe?”
    “Buckaroo Banzai actually.”
    “It has a nice ring to it.”
    Hayes frowns. “It’s a movie title. You know that,
right?”
    “I don’t watch movies.”
    “Yes, you do.”
    “Fine, Marvel and Pixar movies. That Banzai thing
isn’t one of those, so it doesn’t exist to me.”
    Hayes crosses his arms and glares super ugly at me.
I love when he does that shit. He’s especially hot when he tries to intimidate
me. I especially like how his lips get pouty like a really grumpy baby. I smile
at his expression and wonder if he’s messing with me with all of this heir
talk.
    “Not everything is a fucking joke,” he grumbles
when I don’t stop smiling at