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That made me feel like they were both cared for in my absence. And seeing how she was also chatty, I was sure everyone else in the building knew very quickly I had custody of Sarah’s baby.
    “Yeah, I want it. You said twenty, right?” one of them asks. She nods. “Done.” He slaps a twenty-dollar bill in her hand and picks up the microwave off the counter, putting it on the couch they are about to pick up.
    The first twenty-something, who is apparently the couch’s new owner, looks at the boxes by the door. “Do you need help carrying those to your car or anything?” He turns to look at me. “I don’t mind at all. You’re actually doing me a favor by selling me a good couch for cheap.”
    I smile at him, hoping to convey my appreciation. “Thanks, but they really aren’t heavy. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
    He nods again. “Okay. Well, if you need anything before you’re out, I live downstairs, so let me know.”
    It takes him and his buddy a few minutes to maneuver the coach out the door and down the stairs, almost toppling the microwave off a few times. It actually gives me some much needed comic relief, especially when Geni starts yelling “Pivot!” channeling the sentiments of one of our favorite episodes of Friends . Once the show is over, Geni and I clean up a few last minute messes and pack up the cleaning supplies. As she takes the final box down to my car, I lock the door behind me.
    I miss Sarah. I will always miss Sarah. But it’s time to move on.
     

     
    “So how’s it going with the baby?”
    Laurie, our caseworker from the Department of Family and Protective Services, sits with me on the couch in my apartment. Her kind smile is non-threatening. I like her. I feel like she has our best interests at heart. She’s visited with us a couple of times over the last month, and I always enjoy talking with her.
    While I had been granted emergency custody of Chance the night of the accident, there is still a long road ahead of us. In order to obtain permanent custody or adopt, the state still has to do a complete home study, I have to take some parenting classes, and a few other things have to be processed to get through the red tape.
    They’re still looking for Chance’s biological father, because the law requires it, but Laurie assured me they weren’t having any more luck than I was. That will make the entire process a lot faster since I’m Chance’s only blood relative, which I am grateful for. Laurie is a really nice woman and seems to really want to help us, but being held accountable to anyone for things happening in your home gets daunting really quickly.
    I take a deep breath. “It’s still hard,” I respond. “Do babies grieve?”
    She crinkles her eyebrows and cocks her head at me. “Still having a problem with the crying?”
    I nod. “I’ve tried gripe water for his tummy and laying him on his stomach, rocking him, talking to him, even turning on cartoons. You name it, I’ve tried it.” I shake my head in exasperation. “When he’s sleeping, he’s fine. You hear him now,” I say, waving at the swing where he is snoring softly. “And when he wakes up, he’s happy, even when I talk to him from across the room. But it’s like as soon as he sees my face, he realizes I’m not her, and he starts crying again.”
    “Wow,” she says. “It does sound like he’s misses her.”
    “It’s the craziest thing. I’m not trying to replace her. She will always be his mom. I just wish I could help him.”
    “It honestly sounds really normal.”
    “How is this normal?”
    “Think of it from his perspective for a second,” she says, putting her notebook and pen aside. “He spent nine months living inside Sarah’s body, right up underneath her heartbeat. Then for the first two months after he was born, she was with him at all hours of the day. She provided for all his needs. From what we can gather, she was breastfeeding exclusively, too, right?” I nod, trying to put