bloodthirsty creatures, and what happened to your mother, while it was terrible and tragic, was also deliberate and skillfully planned. Avoiding it would have been a miracle.”
I was surprised by how logical I sounded, especially after just escaping a trained Element fairy assassin. I was handling the situation much better than I expected.
My cousin sighed and wiped her cheeks until they were free of tears. “You may be right, but the truth is that my guards are incompetent. We have grown sluggish, believing the war couldn’t touch our capital city,” Brielle expressed, all traces of earlier despair vanishing within a second blink. “But none of this concerns you. You are leaving soon and have other things on your mind. Would you like to stay here for the night? I could make a place for you.”
I shook my head. “Thank you for the offer, but no. I don’t want to disturb you any longer. I’m sure no other assassins will be coming tonight. I should find Nathan and tell him what happened.”
“I’m sorry that I have put you in danger, Ramsey,” she said. “By bringing you here, I’ve put your life in jeopardy, all because I want the war to end.”
“The assassin would have come after me no matter where I was,” I interrupted. “They have tried to kill me in Birchwood several times. I have more protection here.”
Her green eyes blazed like fire. “Protection? My guards didn’t see a thing! They didn’t stop him; you had to. Just like you had to save Emera when we couldn’t….”
“Brielle, stop. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened with Em. You had nothing to do with it,” I told her.
“Yes, but my mother did, and I didn’t protest any of her decisions. I could have, but I didn’t. I did nothing to bring her back. I never even talked about it…or thought about her –”
“Queen Taryn may not have even listened to you if you had.”
She averted her gaze. “But I still should have tried.”
I sighed. “Maybe you should have, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past.”
I could tell that Brielle wasn’t convinced. I could see the regret plastered on her face, how much she believed all of this was her fault.
“You didn’t start this war,” I told her, even if she didn’t want to hear it.
“I can’t finish it, either. Only you can. Once again, I am relying on you. I should be able to do something. If I were a good queen, I would be able to help.”
“You are helping, by staying here and watching over your people. That is the best thing you can do,” I said.
“And it’s nowhere near enough,” Brielle muttered.
I sighed. There was no way I was going to get through to her like this, after what had just happened with the assassin. I gave up and massaged my temples, trying to get rid of the headache slowly coming on.
“I’m sorry I’m making you do this, Ramsey,” she said suddenly. “I’m sorry you must bear such a burden.”
I blinked hard. “So am I.”
But I didn’t blame her. Not one bit.
***
Dressed in a clean nightgown, I entered Nathan’s room without knocking because I knew he wouldn’t care. I didn’t wake him up. I was going to, but seeing him sleep so peacefully tugged at my heart and I didn’t want to disturb him. Instead, I carefully slipped under the covers and settled in next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, trying to convince myself that I didn’t have to be so distant from him. That I could remove the barriers between us and still focus on what lay ahead.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
I inhaled sharply. “I thought you were sleeping.”
“I was, but I could feel your eyes on me and you smell like smoke,” he explained.
I swallowed dryly. “Fire fairy. In my bedroom.”
“Are you all right?”
We both lay on our backs, our eyes never reaching each other. I grappled in the dark until my hand found his. He squeezed my fingers tightly.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, feeling ashamed to