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Henry’s desired dinner companions.’
    ‘Well, write to me anyway. There are three posts a day.’
    ‘Oh, rather. I’ll be back,’ I said, though the words came out sounding more like a threat than I’d intended.
    ‘Don’t forget your library books,’ Georgiana said as I was halfway through the window.
    She passed out D and B, and I hitched up one under each arm.
    ‘Run along, Bertie. I’ll keep watch here.’
    I had an overwhelming urge to lean through the window and plant a smacker on that lovely face, but discretion being nine-tenths of something or other, I legged it down the terrace, sprinted into the shadow of the cedars and, when I was well out of sight, changed gear into a steady trot that was enough to get me back at Seaview Cottage in less than ten minutes.
    It was a pretty relieved Bertram who, mopping the brow, bunged down the weighty vols on the hall table and resumed his seat in the garden, there to catch his breath and take stock of the situation.
    I was aware of a discreet rustling behind my deckchair anda moment later a small table was deposited alongside, bearing a trayful of refreshment.
    ‘I was unsure, sir, whether you would require a cold drink or a cup of tea, so I have brought both.’
    ‘Then I shall drink both, Jeeves. I’ve had a bit of a triumph, though I say so myself.’
    ‘I observed the volumes on the hall table, sir. A considerable achievement.’
    I brought Jeeves up to date with the Melbury Hall Raid. Those who witnessed it might have felt that in the telling I rather stressed the fleetness of foot and swiftness of thought over the bruised skull and near-flattening of the divine presence, but all the essentials were there and I could see that the blighter was impressed.
    ‘Most satisfactory, sir. I have already consulted the books in question and it seems that the present Lord Etringham is seventy-eight years old.’
    ‘Golly, Jeeves. Just as well, what?’
    ‘Indeed, sir. I have further established—’
    But at this moment there came the sound of someone hammering at the front door of Seaview Cottage and Jeeves disappeared to investigate. I toyed with the idea of picking up By Pullman to Peking again, but decided against.
    ‘Mr Beeching, sir.’
    I stood up to see the friend of my infancy coming over the lawn with an anxious look on his face. This in itself didn’t concern me; he would wear that air of startled apprehension even when the Rev. Aubrey Upjohn was announcing that yetagain the Mrs Montague Prize for Latin Verses had gone to Beeching, P.
    ‘What ho, Woody. All well at the Hall?’
    Woody let out an exasperated sigh. ‘Yes and no. Or perhaps that should be no and yes. In the sense of the background picture, I suppose one—’
    ‘Do get to the point, old chap.’
    ‘Things are looking bleak for Sir Henry. His accountant is coming down from London. He’s in a filthy temper. Amelia won’t speak to me. And Jeeves is coming to dinner.’
    ‘Yes, I heard you got into a stew and made up some silly name. Who is this Etringham fellow?’
    ‘I got his name from a friend of mine in chambers. He’s a real person, but he’s a recluse. He lives in Westmorland and studies fossils. He hasn’t left his house for years. This pal of mine always signs himself into the loucher establishments in the West End under the name of Lord Etringham. He says it’s an absolutely bulletproof alias.’
    Jeeves shimmered up with a cup of tea for Woody.
    ‘It may be bulletproof to the heavyweight on the door of the Pink Owl in Brewer Street,’ I said, ‘but not to a raving snob like old Hackwood.’
    ‘That’s what I’m worried about,’ said Woody. ‘He’s going to look him up in—’
    I held up a hand for silence, then broke the good news.
    ‘I say, that was quick work,’ said Woody. ‘Both books safely out of sight?’
    ‘Think nothing of it, young Woody. Now you’d better briefhis lordship here,’ I said, nodding towards Jeeves, ‘about the Hackwood ménage –