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my mouth. Hayes and the others were still going on about the war. My mind drifted off again as my eyes wandered the fluorescent lit room.
    Alex Redman was sitting two tables down. He was sitting alone, drinking milk from a plastic cup. His presence had caused quite a stir within First Platoon. Everywhere you went, his name was spoken in half-hushed voices, as if speaking it out loud was taboo. It was always about his father, this People’s General.
    The others made him out to be larger than life, a noble hero, an icon. They said that once upon a time, this virtuous crusader could have ran for the presidency. He represented the core values of the nation. Independence. Justice. Social Equality. He advocated for the people always. He fought for government transparency, and a stable, small-scale standing army instead of having the world’s second largest standing army. For his actions, he received the trust of millions of loyal citizens. But this trust was betrayed. How he did that depended on who you asked. Whatever he did and however he did it, it sure pissed off a lot of people.
    Alex was living in the massive shadow of his father, taking the full brunt of the lingering hatred leftover from his father’s sins. The platoon despised him. Not for anything he did, but only because he bore the Redman name. The malicious indifference he was treated with was unduly warranted…to an extent.
    Alex was an asshole, yes, but he was a good soldier. I could see that in him, at least. He was smart, he was devoted, he was meticulous, and he was everything a good soldier needed to be. But none of that mattered to the other recruits. He was still General Silas Redman’s son.
    “Colton…?”
    Looking at him now as he ate his breakfast he looked almost sad. He was trying his hardest. You couldn’t say anything less. But for all his hard work he got nothing in return.
    “Colton…?”
    It was Carrigan.
    “Yes?”
    “You’re doing that thing again.”
    “What thing?” I asked, knowing full well what she meant.
    “You zone out. One moment you’re here and the next you’re not. Your mind wanders.”
    “I’m sorry. I just…think a lot.”
    Hayes couldn’t help but to chime in. “Yeah Colton, you got to watch that shit, man. Sometimes I’ll be talking to you and five minutes go by before I realize you aint even listening to me.”
    “It may not look it, but I do listen to you, Hayes,” I said in all honesty.
    “But seriously, Tennpenny, we’ve known you for a week now and we still don’t know anything about you. Who are you?”
    Who am I? I’m Colton Tennpenny…Tennpenny? Where does my name even come from? I have no history to my name, just that I was born with it.
    I didn’t know how to answer that question. My eyes darted to Beauregard when he said that, then to Hayes, then Carrigan and then Shannon. They were all watching me. My hands lay in my lap, my right thumb nervously rubbing the palm of my left hand. I desperately searched my mind to come up with an answer, not just for them, but for myself. Who am I?
    I could feel the hard stares coming from the four of them, each intently expecting an answer.
    “He’ll come out of his shell eventually. Don’t pressure him,” Shannon said.
    I sighed shallowly, relieved. Thank you Shannon .
    “So what do you think?” Carrigan asked.
    “Think about what?” I asked.
    “We were discussing women in the military. Hayes doesn’t think women belong in combat units.”
    “Why not?” I said, more as a statement rather than a question. I didn’t see why they couldn’t.
    “Exactly, why not, Hayes?”
    “Because combat is no place for a woman. It’s dangerous. God only knows what the Yankees would do to you if they caught you. And besides, I’m not trying to sound like a misogynist, but women aren’t as strong as men. If I get wounded in combat, I need to trust the soldier next to me to be able to pick me up and carry me to safety. I’m a big guy, Carrigan, I don’t